Mother Like Mothers and Work Like Fathers: U.S. Heterosexual College Students’ Assumptions About Who Should Meet Childcare and Housework Demands

Abstract

Many U.S. women report balancing competing demands for labor within the family and the workplace. Prior research has found that young adult heterosexual U.S. women are still anticipating doing the majority of their future family’s childcare and housework, though they hold more progressive gender role attitudes than in the past. The aim of the present study was to investigate the assumptions of 176 heterosexual college students in the U.S. ( M age = 20.57, 88.64% European American, 51.70% ciswomen, 48.30% cismen) about how childcare and housework should be balanced in the context of work responsibilities. Participants were asked to rate their level of agreement with two items about working mothers and childcare and working fathers and household care, and provided open-ended responses to explain their justifications for their rating. Open-ended responses were thematically coded. Results revealed that most participants wanted mothers to have the choice to work but considered childcare a limiting problem that (primarily) mothers should solve. Similarly, participants believed that working full-time did not excuse a husband from helping with chores, however they did not express concerns with the term “helping” which implies that the husband would not hold any primary responsibility. Overall, the findings suggest the importance for educational and policymaking interventions and future research to highlight practices that support and encourage the role of men in addressing childcare and household needs.

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https://doi.org/10.1007/s11199-021-01252-3
ORIGINAL ARTICLE
Mother Like Mothers andWork Like Fathers: U.S. Heterosexual
College Students’ Assumptions About Who Should Meet Childcare
andHousework Demands
AnnieMcConnon1· AllegraJ.Midgette2,3 · ClareConry‑Murray1
Accepted: 12 October 2021
© The Author(s) 2021
Abstract
Many U.S. women report balancing competing demands for labor within the family and the workplace. Prior research has
found that young adult heterosexual U.S. women are still anticipating doing the majority of their future family’s childcare
and housework, though they hold more progressive gender role attitudes than in the past. The aim of the present study was
to investigate the assumptions of 176 heterosexual college students in the U.S. (Mage = 20.57, 88.64% European Ameri-
can, 51.70% ciswomen, 48.30% cismen) about how childcare and housework should be balanced in the context of work
responsibilities. Participants were asked to rate their level of agreement with two items about working mothers and childcare
and working fathers and household care, and provided open-ended responses to explain their justifications for their rating.
Open-ended responses were thematically coded. Results revealed that most participants wanted mothers to have the choice
to work but considered childcare a limiting problem that (primarily) mothers should solve. Similarly, participants believed
that working full-time did not excuse a husband from helping with chores, however they did not express concerns with the
term “helping” which implies that the husband would not hold any primary responsibility. Overall, the findings suggest
the importance for educational and policymaking interventions and future research to highlight practices that support and
encourage the role of men in addressing childcare and household needs.
Keywords Work-life balance· Gender roles· Division of household labor· Childcare· Gender· Family· Marriage·
Attitudes· Thematic analysis
Many women report having to balance competing demands for
care labor within the family and paid labor within the work-
place (Perry-Jenkins etal., 2007; Shockley etal., 2021). This
dual demand for labor has direct consequences for women’s
involvement in the labor force (Christnacht & Sullivan, 2020),
women’s adjustment to becoming new parents (Perry‐Jenkins
etal., 2007), women’s rates of depression (Perry‐Jenkins
etal., 2007), marital satisfaction (Li etal., 2020), women’s
time poverty (Hyde etal., 2020), and women’s career aspira-
tions (Drinkwater etal., 2008). For instance, married women
in the United States in heterosexual relationships who lost
access to childcare as a result of the COVID-19 pandemic
were more likely to take on childcare duties while also work-
ing remotely, and this dual labor was associated with a nega-
tive impact on women’s well-being as well as their career
performance (Collins etal., 2020; Shockley etal., 2021).
Moreover, heterosexual emerging adult women, many of
whom grew up observing their mothers taking on this dou-
ble burden (Drinkwater etal., 2008), also report expecting
an unequal and gendered division in their future households
(Askari etal., 2010; Dernberger & Pepin, 2020; Fetterolf &
Eagly, 2011). However, recent research has found that this
expectation occurs despite emerging adults’ holding egalitar-
ian attitudes (Croft etal., 2020).
* Allegra J. Midgette
amidgett@tamu.edu
Annie McConnon
amcconno@bu.edu
Clare Conry-Murray
cconrymu@sju.edu
1 Department ofPsychology, Saint Joseph’s University,
Philadelphia, PA, USA
2 Department ofPsychological andBrain Sciences, Texas
A&M University, CollegeStation, TX, USA
3 University ofNorth Carolina atChapel Hill, Frank Porter
Graham Child Development Institute, ChapelHill, NC, USA
/ Published online: 28 October 2021
Sex Roles (2022) 86:49–66
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The gendering of labor in the context of balancing work
and family life demands has implications not only for wom-
en’s well-being, but also the structuring of class, gender,
and race relations within the U.S. (Coltrane, 2000; Glenn,
2010). The family has been considered one of the main
sites of women’s oppression, as it is the “primary arena
where men exercise their patriarchal power over women’s
labor” (Hartmann, 1981, p. 377). In the United States, and
abroad, women in heterosexual relationships continue to
take on most of their household’s labor (Jansen etal., 2016;
Lachance-Grzela & Bouchard, 2010; Mandel & Lazarus,
2021; Organization for Economic Co-operation and Development
[OECD], 2019). The gendered division of labor has been linked
to women’s rates of depression, marital conflict, as well as sup-
porting gender inequalities in labor outcomes (Coltrane, 2000;
Ferrant etal., 2014). In the U.S., women spend an additional two
40-h weeks per year of labor compared to men, when the average
time each gender spends on both paid and unpaid labor (home and
workplace) is considered (OECD, 2019). Overall, prior research
suggests that women’s continued greater involvement in domestic
labor is one of the main indicators of the “stalling of the (gender)
revolution” (England, 2010; Hochschild & Machung, 2012).
In the current study, we use thematic analysis to exam-
ine U.S. heterosexual college-attending emerging adults’
assumptions about how the demands for home labor (i.e.,
childcare and housework) should be balanced in the con-
text of women’s and men’s involvement with the workplace
to gain better insight into why emerging adults may antici-
pate and reproduce gender unequal practices in their future
households. Prior research with college-attending young
adults found that, particularly heterosexual women, still
anticipate serving as the primary caregiver in their future
families (Croft etal., 2020) or performing the majority of
their future family’s childcare and housework (Askari etal.,
2010; Fetterolf & Eagly, 2011), and these expectations are
proving to be difficult to change (McLean etal., 2017).
Investigating emerging adults as a population (18–25years
old) is particularly important because they are in a period
of transition and how they understand and make sense of
how paid work and care work should be balanced is likely
to affect their division of labor in their future homes (Askari
etal., 2010).Therefore, investigating gender ideologies in the
form of open-ended questions (Davis & Greenstein, 2009)
can provide much needed insight into how emerging adults
make sense of gender roles, the gendering of labor, and bal-
ancing work and life demands.
Moreover, though women across racial-ethnic groups (Perry-
Jenkins etal., 2013; Wight etal., 2013) and social class (Miller
& Carlson, 2016) tend to take on more of the childcare and
household labor in heterosexual relationships (Bianchi etal.,
2012; Goldberg etal., 2012), White middle-class women with
higher levels of education are more likely to buy themselves
out of doing household labor and hire working-class women
of color to provide the services (Glenn, 1992, 2010). Data col-
lected in the United States from 2010–2019 shows that pri-
marily White, wealthy cities employ the highest number of
nannies and house cleaners (Economic Policy Institute [EPI],
2020). Nonetheless, on average White women contribute to
domestic labor about 1.6 times more than White men (Bianchi
etal., 2012; Wight etal., 2013). At the same time, college-
educated men have been found to be more willing to help with
domestic labor when compared to non-educated college men
(Miller & Carlson, 2016). Furthermore, in addition to survey
data, scholars have argued that it is “crucial that we refine our
understanding of the underlying meanings and purposes given
to household labor that help perpetuate men’s and women’s
gendered allocation” (Lachance-Grzela & Bouchard, 2010,
p.777). Therefore, thematic analysis of the reasoning of stu-
dents attending a Primarily White Institution (PWI), may also
aid understanding of why well-educated and White middle-
class heterosexual families may outsource and contribute to the
gendered, classed, and raced nature of labor.
Many Women are Still Doing
theDouble‑Shift
Women are becoming more and more involved in the work-
force over time. U.S. women’s overall labor force participa-
tion across racial-ethnic groups between the ages of 24–54,
was about 15% lower than men in 1999, about 13% lower
than men in 2019, and anticipated to be about 11% lower than
men in 2029 (U.S. Bureau of Labor Statistics, 2020). While
American women’s labor force participation rates are increas-
ing, their experiences in the labor force are still gendered, and
as a result, women face the double burden of both paid and
unpaid labor. In fact, one third of working women in 2018 in
the U.S. were mothers (Christnacht & Sullivan, 2020). Work-
ing mothers with children under the age of six have reported
that they reduce work hours to part-time or discontinue work-
ing altogether due to childcare responsibilities (Christnacht &
Sullivan, 2020). Moreover, according to a study of 21 Ameri-
can heterosexual couples (other demographics not reported)
where the woman was earning or had earned 80–100% of the
family’s income, 43% of women reported that they felt added
pressure and demands such as housework and childcare in
addition to the primary breadwinner role (Chesley, 2017).
This gender inequality in the home leads to work-life ine-
qualities for U.S. women, as they not only contribute about
96min more unpaid labor per day than men, but also spend
about 49min less than men on leisure activities (i.e., hobbies,
watching tv, outdoor activities; OECD, 2019). Overall, prior
research suggests that women are often engaged in doing the
double shift of paid and unpaid labor.
50 Sex Roles (2022) 86:49–66
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1 3
Expecting anEgalitarian Workplace anda
Traditional Family Life
Gender role attitudes regarding engagement in the workplace
and family life have also changed. According to a gender
ideology survey of American 12th graders in public and pri-
vate schools from 1976–2014 (42% White men, 43% White
women, 6% Black men, 8% Black women), earlier genera-
tions expected women to be primarily “homemakers,” and
considered a traditional arrangement of the husband work-
ing outside the home and the wife working inside the home
as most desirable (Dernberger & Pepin, 2020). However,
emerging adults’ support of women’s involvement in the
workplace (e.g., husband and wife should both work outside
the home) increased over time, as 8% of the sample found this
acceptable in 1976 compared to 24% in 2014 (Dernberger &
Pepin, 2020). Additionally, a separate analysis of surveyed
American 12th graders from 1976–2015 (42% White men,
44% White women, 6% Black men, 8% Black women) found
that whereas support of gender equality in the workplace
was relatively high and increased over time, egalitarianism
within the home (sharing of household duties) did not receive
similar levels of increased support over time (Pepin & Cotter,
2018). Therefore, the increased support for equality in the
workplace did not reflect similar levels of support for equality
within the home.
Similarly, European- and Asian-Canadian college stu-
dents have been found to be, on average, supportive of egali-
tarianism in the home and in the workplace (Gere & Helwig,
2012). However, analysis of students’ underlying reasoning
showed that when presented with traditional gender roles
(e.g., the wife should be primary caregiver), participants
often referred to traditional gender role stereotypes and
expectations (e.g., women are better at caring for children).
Thus, although emerging adults may seem to be egalitarian
in their attitudes, initial investigation into their underlying
reasoning suggests that they are still influenced by and rely
on traditional gender role stereotypes to make sense of how
paid and unpaid labor should be divided. However, the study
did not investigate in-depth emerging adults’ assumptions
of how couples should balance both work and family life
demands.
A recent thematic analysis of emerging adult expecta-
tions for their future found differences in how emerging
adults approach balancing career and family life. Whereas
some were certain that it is possible to “have it all,” others
were not so sure (Ezzedeen etal., 2018, p. 570). Ezzedeen
etal.’s (2018) investigation into Canadian college women’s
(Mage = 21; 35.8% South Asian, 23.8% White, 13.4% Asians,
10.4% Middle Easterners, 10.4% West Indians, 3% Afri-
cans, and 3% Latinx) expectations for their future plans and
expected ability to both work and have children, found that
whereas some women believed they can “have it all” some
referenced the notion that sacrifices would have to be made
in order to balance work and career given that parenting,
too, is a full-time job. Some noted that having children lim-
ited career growth due to maternity leave and the respon-
sibility of caretaking. Similarly, Coyle etal. (2015) found
that although most college-attending U.S. emerging adults
(Mage = 19.8, no racial-ethnic demographics reported)
planned to work, women were more likely to plan to alter
their work and family life in response to expectations for
work-family conflict, and to plan to work part-time rather
than full-time before their children were preschool aged.
Moreover, those who expected to work part-time or full-
time expected more work-family conflict than women who
planned to not work while their children were young. Of
relevance to the current study, women were more likely to
report anticipating that family life would impact work life,
whereas men anticipated work life would impact family life.
Overall, the research suggests that emerging adult women
expect to take on most of the childcare and housework
(Askari etal., 2010; Erchull etal., 2010; Fetterolf & Eagly,
2011). At the same time, emerging adult women also desire
to work (Fulcher etal., 2015), understand that work is good
for their well-being (Fetterolf & Eagly, 2011), and believe
that a work-life balance is achievable (Ezzedeen etal., 2018;
Gerson, 2010). Because emerging adult women are less
likely to endorse traditional gender role attitudes, but are
expecting inequality in their future, more gender egalitar-
ian attitudes are not necessarily predictive of an expected
future egalitarian division. Prior quantitative and qualitative
research suggests that emerging adults recognize a tension
between maintaining and caring for the family and participa-
tion in the labor force. Less is known about the underlying
assumptions that may be informing the decisions by emerg-
ing adults about how heterosexual couples should address
the conflict between the dual demands of work and family.
The Present Study
To better understand how emerging adults’ make sense of how
conflict between family and work life should be addressed,
the present study addressed two main questions. What are
participants’ implicit and explicit assumptions regarding how:
1) childcare should be balanced in the context of women’s
involvement in the workplace? and 2) how the need for house-
work should be balanced in the context of men’s involvement
in the workplace? Answering these questions also allows for
an investigation of assumptions about what aspects of the
workplace influence family involvement and what aspects of
family life influence workplace involvement and the potential
role of a partner in helping navigate these dual demands.
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1 3
Method
The data analyzed in the present study is part of a larger
dataset (see Midgette & D’Andrea, 2021) that set out to
investigate emerging adults’ expectations for and sense-
making about the gendered division of household labor.
Participants andRecruitment
A total of 176 emerging adults participated in this study.
Participants had a mean age of 20.57years (SD = 1.18,
range = 18, 23). This study was a secondary data analysis of
open-ended responses from a larger quantitative-centered
program of research; thus the stopping point of data collec-
tion was determined by a power analysis. As a result, we did
not aim for data saturation (Braun & Clarke, 2021). A little
over half of participants (51.70%) identified as ciswomen,
and the remainder identified as cismen. Most participants
(88.64%) identified as European American, 3.98% identified
as Asian American, 3.98% identified as Latinx, 2.84% iden-
tified as African American, and .57% preferred not to say.
All participants identified as heterosexual. Most participants
(90.34%) said they expected to be married in the future,
whereas 9.66% stated they might be married in the future.
Moreover, 48.86% reported having a mother who worked
full-time when they were growing up, whereas 23.30% had
a mother who worked part-time, 27.27% had a stay-at-home
mother, and .57% (n = 1) did not live with their mother while
growing up. Many of our participants (81.25%) came from
a household with married parents. A small portion of the
participants (15.9%) came from a household with divorced
parents, 1.14% with a widowed parent, .57% with a single
parent, and 1.14% with remarried parents.
Procedure
During the Spring of 2020, participants attending a PWI in
Philadelphia, U.S. were invited either through email or as
part of the psychology department’s subject pool to partici-
pate in this study. Participants filled out a series of meas-
ures through a Qualtrics survey, one of which included a
measure of their gender ideology attitudes and justifications
(described in more detail below). This study titled, “Rea-
soning and Life” (IRB Protocol # 1510757), received IRB
approval from Saint Joseph’s University prior to data collec-
tion. Following Gere and Helwig’s (2012) methodology, par-
ticipants were presented with several items related to gender
roles within the family, some of which were egalitarian and
others traditional, and asked to rate their agreement with
each item on a scale from 1 (strongly disagree) to 7 (strongly
agree), and then to justify their rating, “Please explain why
you agree/disagree with the above statement as clearly as
you can.” For the purposes of the present study, we analyzed
the justifications given for the following two items: “Married
women who have preschool-aged children should not work
outside the home” (Hardesty & Bokemeier, 1989) and “A
wife should not expect her husband to help around the house
after he comes home after a hard day’s work” (Cunningham,
2008). These items were chosen because they indicate the
degree to which women and men in a heterosexual marriage
should take on the responsibility for childcare and house-
work in their roles as spouses and parents. To use short-
hand, we call these the Working Mom Beliefs and Husband
Does Housework Beliefs, respectively. The wording of the
items was also intentional. For instance, prior research has
shown that the word “help” is often used by participants to
describe men’s lower involvement in household labor and
as a means for accepting and perpetuating a gendered divi-
sion in the home (Midgette, 2020; Miller & Carlson, 2016).
Participants’ open-ended responses to both items were coded
thematically. All but six participants provided an open-ended
response for the childcare item, and all but two participants
completed the open-ended justification for the housework
item.
Thematic Analysis
In order to investigate the content of emerging adults’ jus-
tifications, we employed a thematic analytical approach to
systematically investigate patterns of shared meanings in the
data (Braun & Clarke, 2006). All three authors identify as
cisgender women. The first author identifies as White and
is a first-year graduate student who was an undergraduate at
the time of data analysis and writing. The second author is a
multiracial Brazilian American Visiting Assistant Professor
in Psychological and Brain Sciences and married to a man.
Her area of study is focused on how individuals across cul-
tures make sense of the genderingof labor within heterosex-
ual households. The third author identifies as White and is
an associate professor of psychology who studies gender and
moral development and ismarried to a man. In order to address
biases and differences in interpretation we had discussions
about the analyses and framing of the results, with the goal
of presenting our shared interpretation of what participants
presented in their responses.
Following procedures described by Boyatzis (1998), a
team comprised of the first two authors and another coder
collaboratively developed two codebooks based on read-
ing the two types of open-ended responses (childcare item
and housework item). Each codebook included code names,
definitions, and examples taken from the data. Codes were
created and applied to the open-ended responses and modi-
fied or added following the reading of new responses. After
the codebooks were developed based on the reading and
52 Sex Roles (2022) 86:49–66
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1 3
application of codes to all responses, two coders indepen-
dently read and coded 20% of the responses for each item
to establish reliability. Final coder agreement, as calculated
through Cohen’s Kappa, for the childcare and housework item
responses were κ = .81 and κ = .84, respectively. All disagree-
ment was discussed and resolved following consensus. Once
reliability was established, the remainder of the responses
were coded by the two coders. Our analysis focused on the
two guiding research questions. Following the application of
codes, themes were created based on code frequency, shared
meaning, and the co-occurrence of codes. The most fre-
quent and infrequent codes were counted and tabled to know
which ideas were present throughout responses and which
ideas were rarer. To create themes, original text responses
were collated next to their coding category, which allowed
for investigating when textual responses had co-occurring
codes within and across coding categories. Text and codes
were analyzed for patterns of shared meaning and underlying
assumptions in relation to our research questions. The exam-
ples in the results section use the participants’ own words
and occasionally include their errors and typos. We identified
the gender of the participant (W = woman; M = man) for all
material presented in the results.
Results
Analysis oftheWorking Mom Beliefs
Many participants disagreed with the idea that married
women who have preschool-aged children should not
work outside the home. Overall, 73.30% participants
(52.7% women) either strongly, moderately, or slightly
disagreed, whereas 8.52% (46.6% women) neither agreed
nor disagreed, and the remaining 18.18% (50% women)
either somewhat, moderately, or strongly agreed. There-
fore, most participants believed that married women with
preschool-aged children should be able to work outside
the home. Analyses revealed five major themes associ-
ated with participants’ assumptions underlying their views
and explanations for their position: 1) work as a personal
(protected) choice, 2) mothers should work as working
fathers do, 3) where are the fathers? childcare is mom’s
(not dad’s) problem, 4) mothers can’t choose to stay home,
and 5) mothers should stay home. Each theme is consid-
ered in more detail below. (See Table1 for a summary of
major themes and code frequency).
Work asaPersonal (Protected) Choice
Reflecting the position that mothers should be able to work
was the assumption that women should be able to choose to
do whatever they wanted. Participants agreed that whether a
woman works is her own personal choice and should not be
up to anyone but herself. For example, one emerging adult
man (M) stated,“it is not my decision to decide if a woman
wants to work or not.” Echoing the assumption that work-
ing is the choice of the woman, an emerging adult woman
explained:
I disagree that women shouldn't work outside the home
with preschool aged children because I think it is a
choice someone makes on their own. I do not think
anyone should feel like they cannot work outside the
home because some families have to have both parents
working to make enough to support the family. (W)
The fact that work should be a woman’s choice was also
often mentioned in response to the assumption that women
might be obligated to go against their wishes. In particular,
the belief that women should not feel pressured to stay home
was common among women participants, along with the
belief that women should not be expected or required to
stay in the home because of care-taking responsibilities.For
instance, one participant (W) argued that “Women should
not be expected to stay home with their children. They can
work and care for a child simultaneously.” The decision to
stay at home or to work were often described as personal
choices: “Women should not be restricted in their career or
wish to work simply because they are held back by family
life” (W). Another stated:
I disagree; women should not be required to stay home
with their children; however, I did not pick strongly
disagree because if a woman wishes to and that is the
best decision for her family, then I have no issue. At
the end of the day, it should be a family decision to
decide if and who should stay home. (W)
As reflected by the above quotations, participants often
did not believe that women should be required or restricted
to staying at home. Several of the participants who felt that
the mother should not be expected or required to stay home
were women, while the few men who referenced that the
woman should not be required to stay in the home supported
their justification by noting that gender roles and/or stere-
otypes have changed and are less restrictive including for
men, who are also potential caretakers. They also noted that
there are opportunities to access outside help. For example,
a few of the men noted,
I think that in today's world, there are a lot less
"should’s" when it comes to gender roles. I don't think
that the mother of a family is expected to be the one to
stay home and watch the children anymore. (M)
I feel that a mother should be able to work wherever
she wants and should not be limited to being a stay-
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Table 1 Themes and Coding Analysis for Working Mom Beliefs
Major Themes
Codes Description Cohen’s Kappa Counts/ Percentages Exemplary Quote
Work as a Personal (Protected) Choice
Women can do what they want Refers to women as the ones that should decide if
they want to work
.74 33 (18.75%) “I disagree with the statement because women
should be allowed to do as they wish.” M
Women should not be required to stay in the
home Refers to the idea that women should not be
required or restricted to staying home and being
the primary caretaker of children
.85 38 (21.6%) “No matter how old your children are the women
should still be able to work. They should not
have to stay in the home.” M
Mothers Should Work as Working Fathers Do
Wonder woman Refers to the ability of women to both work
while having children and be successful in
doing both
.82 22 (12.5%) “I think that married women with small children are
able to both work and be a mom successfully.” W
If men can do it, women can too Refers to the idea that women can or should be
held to the same standard as men
1.00 12 (6.8%) “I disagree because I think that women should be
able to chase their career just the same as men. I
think that if they coordinate timing and picking
the child up there shouldn't be an issue. I think
that they can also get a nanny or alternate days of
being at home.” W
Where are the Fathers? Childcare is Mom’s (Not Dad’s) Problem
There are systems in place that allow women to
work Refers to systems outside the immediate family
(nanny, daycare, school, etc.) that allow women
to work
.58 27 (15.3%) “Just because a mother has small children, does
not mean she should be restricted to working at
home. The child can go to preschool, have an
after school babysitter, or their father to help
watch them, not just the mother. She should be
allowed to choose the job she finds to be best for
her and her family.” W
Children should not be a limitation Refers to the idea that children don’t or should
not influence or limit women’s ability to work
.87 24 (13.6%) “Having young children does not mean you cannot
work outside the home or still be focused on
your career.” W
Childcare is a shared responsibility Refers to men and women as responsible for
sharing the responsibilities of childcare
1.00 4 (2.3%) “I believe that they should be allowed to work
outside the home because it is only fair given
that nobody ever questions men with preschool
children working outside the home. Spouses
should share the caregiving, neither should have
to sacrifice their career.” W
Mothers Can’t Choose to Stay Home
Staying home is not always an option Refers to limitations that do not allow a mother
to have the choice to stay home as the primary
caretaker
.65 15 (8.5%) “I think the mother should have a choice if they
would like to work or not. Sometimes, a mother
might need to work if they are a single mother.”
M
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at-home mom once she has a child. I also feel like the
father, or a babysitter could come and take care of the
child when he/she is not in preschool and the parents
are still at work. (M)
Mothers Should Work asWorking Fathers Do
A portion of the participants believed that mothers can both
work and have children and be successful in doing both.
Participants asserted that having a career while raising chil-
dren is not only possible but should be encouraged. Several
women advocated for having both a successful professional
life and a family life. For example, one participant wrote
that, “They should have the ability to go out there and pursue
their passions as well. There's nothing wrong with doing
that and caring for your children. It is also possible to do
so” (W). Another wrote, “I think that woman should be able
to have a career and a home-life, a work life balance is very
attainable” (W).
However, the belief that mothers should be able to work
often co-occurred with the stated expectation that women
should have the same options as men, where men are being
used as the standard for what women should aim for. In other
words, driving the expectation that mothers should be able
to do it all was the assumption that they should work, just as
working fathers do. However, many of their responses did
not mention how the work at home would be managed if
women work as men do. For example, one participant (W)
stated that, “I disagree because I think women can work
outside of the home and still have children. Many parents
do it and there is no reason that women can do it just as men
do.” Women expected mothers to be able to be like men, and
to not be limited: “I believe that if a woman wants to have a
successful career outside of the home like the man, then she
should be able to. She shouldn't be limited to staying in the
home” (W). Another suggested,
I think women have the right to pursue a career and
a family at the same time and should be held to the
same standard of going back to work as men. If she
wants to stay home then great, but if she doesn't that's
great too. (W)
The assumption that mothers should work as men do also
often framed children and the need for childcare as a problem
that was limiting or restricting to women. For example, one
female participant stated that, “Having a young child should
not prevent the mother to work outside. Mothers are not obli-
gated to provide child care.” However, who should take on
childcare was not specified. Similarly, another participant
noted that having children should not limit women’s freedom:
I think women should not have to bear the brunt of
having children. They should be able to go back to
Table 1 (continued)
Major Themes
Codes Description Cohen’s Kappa Counts/ Percentages Exemplary Quote
Breadwinner Refers to the idea that women both can and
should financially provide for the family
1.00 20 (11.4%) “I feel that even though a mother has a child who
is young, the pressure should not solely rely on
the father for earning money, especially if the
mother enjoys working. It should be decided
between the parents.” W
Mothers Should Stay Home
Well -being of child Refers to the well-being of the child as a reason
for why women should do childcare and/or be
the primary caretaker
1.00 14 (8.0%) “Mostly this is because I was raised this way. If
both spouses are financially secure enough to
support one spouse staying home, I believe the
mother should do it. Especially at such a young
age, those moments are important for a child's
growth.” M
Gender Roles Refers to the traditional role of the woman as the
primary caretaker of children
1.00 25 (14.2%) “B/c women are the primary caretakers, also need
to breastfeed so I think that's important.” M
55Sex Roles (2022) 86:49–66
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1 3
work, and not limit their work because they decided to
have a child, when their spouse has the 'freedom' to go
about their lives and not restrict their working
conditions. (W)
Participant responses revealed that women were making
direct comparisons to men and used the opportunities that
working fathers have as the standard for their expectations
for work life.
Where are theFathers? Childcare isMom’s (Not
Dad’s) Problem
As suggested above, when considering a mother’s involve-
ment in the workplace, participants perceived an underly-
ing problem– children. Several participants felt that children
should not inhibit a woman’s ability to work. For example,
one participant stated that“Married women with preschool
aged children should be able to work from home or wherever
they like no matter the age of their child” (M). Another said,
I believe that if a woman wants to work AND be a
mother she should be able to do both. Just because a
woman has a child should not restrict them to staying
home with them. Plenty of children, myself included,
grow up going to daycare and turn out just as fine as
the rest. (W)
As this last participant’s response suggests, participants
may have been more open to alternative sources of care
because of their own experiences with childcare that goes
beyond only maternal care. In discussion of alternative
childcare options, participants mentioned several possibili-
ties, including preschools, babysitters, and even grandpar-
ents as possible sources of childcare, indicating that both
men and women see many potential resources for childcare.
For example, participants noted:
Women, married or not, should be able to have their
own career and children at the same time. Men should
be held to the same expectations when having little
children. Women are able to do whatever they want;
however old their children are. (W)
With the help and support of family members and
trusted caregivers (i.e. nannies), there is no reason that
a woman can't work full or part time in a job that she
enjoys while also being able to care for and interact
with her kids. The notion that women must work from
home or can't hold a job because they have to be a
full-time caregiver is outdated and does not account for
single mothers or career-driving women.(W)
However, although women were described as free to
work as a result of these other forms of childcare support,
participants assumed childcare was a problem that women
would have/ or had the onus to solve on their own in order
to be able to work. In the following response we can see how
participants assumed that the mother is the one expected to
arrange for childcare:
While the child is still young, there are alternatives
to the mother to care for the child. She can choose to
hire someone or send them to preschool, and they can
work, or she can watch them without a job, it is up to
her. (authors’ emphasis, M)
As noted in the responses above, several participants
assumed that the problem of childcare could be resolved
by outsourcing childcare responsibilities. For instance,
one noted, “If both parents are working then they can hire
a babysitter but if one of the parents is not working then
they stay with the kid at home” (F). Therefore, underlying
the expectation of a mother’s choice was the assumption
that childcare would be outsourced in order to support their
professional goals.
Others were supportive of a mother working if her child-
care responsibilities were taken care of in approved ways.
For example, one participant stated that, “I would say that I
disagree because if the child is in preschool then they would
be able to attend work during those hours. I think having a
babysitter for an hour or two is OK” (M). Men often argued
that the woman could work while the child is at school (or
being cared for by another). In other words, a mother’s abil-
ity to work was tied to and expected to be responsive to her
childcare responsibilities, and therefore she could work if
childcare was taken care of.
However, whereas many participants referenced the vari-
ous systems in place (i.e., nannies, babysitters, schools) that
allowed women to work, very few participants noted that the
father could also provide childcare support. This is particu-
larly striking, considering that as mentioned in the above,
mothers’ freedom to work was assumed to be the same as
working fathers, but men in general, and especially fathers,
were rarely mentioned when addressing childcare concerns.
Overall, most participants treated childcare as either a
problem that mothers (not fathers) should solve by doing
managing her work schedule around childcare needs, or a
problem that could be avoided by the mother arranging to
have others do the childcare (e.g., preschool, grandparents,
babysitters). Additionally, very few participants argued that
childcare should be a shared responsibility of the mother and
father. Therefore, childcare was often framed as an impedi-
ment that women would have to face and address rather than
as a responsibility that should or could be shared by fathers.
Mothers Can’t Choose toStay Home
Rather than viewing working outside the home as a choice
for mothers, some participants asserted that it is not only
56 Sex Roles (2022) 86:49–66
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1 3
men’s responsibility to provide for the family, and that
women should work also. Therefore, work was seen not as a
personal choice, but as based on family needs. For instance,
one participant (W) explained,“Women will have to work,
along with their husbands to keep the family moving for-
ward. Taking care of kids is not the sole responsibility of
the women, they, like their spouse, should be able to balance
both home and work life.” Similarly, another participant (M)
explained, “Because moms need to have an income and pro-
vide for their children and they should send them to school.”
The language of need as a reason for mothers to work was
also present in responses that could be implying that such
an arrangement was not ideal, or at least was not always
expected. For instance, a participant noted, “If the household
has financial needs to be met, then the woman of the house
can work, which may require the child to be in daycare or
after school programming. May be a good option to socialize
the child” (M, emphasis added).
Mothers Should Stay Home
Although most of our participants expected mothers to be
able or have to work, some participants thought women
should stay at home. A few women felt that the women
should stay home with preschool aged children, often refer-
ring to the wellbeing of the child to support their reason-
ing. For instance, one participant (W) stated, “I believe
that woman with preschool aged kids should be home as
much as possible in order to care for them and give their
child as much support as they need while growing up.”
Child development and mother–child relationships were
often referenced to support women’s reasoning as to why
the wife should stay home. One participant who agreed that
the women should stay home stated that, “This age is very
influential in the development of a child. I think involvement
is very important” (W). Another participant said, “I think
that age period for a child and mother is crucial in relations
to building a strong relationship. Mothers should be able
to see and be aware of the developments going on in their
child's life” (W). Given that there was no mention of fathers
providing care, these participants seemed to see mothers as
having a special obligation to take care of young children.
Moreover, participants assumed that staying home was the
primary way in which care-giving would allow for the build-
ing of relationships, or contribute to children’s development.
Interestingly, a few of the women who believed that
women should stay home also acknowledged that women
can work too, indicating that they may be experiencing
some conflict or a desire to do it all.For example, these
participants mentioned both caretaking as an obligation and
work as either an obligation or an option: “I do believe that
a married woman should be taking care of her preschool
child, but at the same time, she needs to be providing for
her family if she has a full-time job” (W) and “I think you
should care for your kids at that age since they are develop-
ing but I think you should have the freedom to work to” (W).
Thus, despite endorsing the statement that women should
stay home, these women also mentioned work as a legitimate
“freedom” women should have.
A few of the emerging adult men who believed that
women should be homemakers often referenced gender
norms—that is, the way they perceive things are most often
done by men and women, without further justification about
the benefits of this arrangement. For example,one par-
ticipant (M) argued that, “Because the men work and the
women clean. Kids also need a structure.” Most men who
agreed that a woman should stay home with preschool-aged
children did not focus on the wellbeing and development
of the child. Instead, they relied more on norms related to
gender as common and therefore correct, as exemplified in
this example:
I believe that it is more common for the woman to stay
home with a child and have the husband be the bread
winner of the family. It is not a matter of a woman
not being capable to do jobs outside the house besides
being a mom but it is more common for the man to
work outside the home and the wife to watch the chil-
dren. (M)
Similarly, one participant suggested that, “women tend
to be better nurturers than males and is rather instinctual.
I think that it would be the most logical way” (M). Thus,
many of the men who suggested that women should stay
home made efforts to suggest that their position was based
on women’s perceived abilities to be better at childcare, and
not a belief that they are incapable of work.
In summary, most participants believed that mothers
should be able to choose to work. Participants noted the
various systems outside of the immediate family in place
that could be used for others to engage in childcare but they
also thought childcare was a mother’s problem to be solved,
rather than an equal responsibility. In answering our first
research question, our analysis suggests that most emerging
adults in our study wanted mothers to work and to figure
out the problem of childcare. Assumptions of balancing the
two needs tended to prioritize work, to emphasize personal
choice, and to note the various systems outside of the imme-
diate family in place that could be used for others to engage
in childcare to help women have it all. Some participants
assumed mothers should schedule their work around child-
care (or the systems in place that are available for certain
periods of time). A few suggested that women should not
work for pay and instead should prioritize childcare over
work. Across participants who both agreed and disagreed
with the statement that women should not work when
they have preschool aged children, very few participants
57Sex Roles (2022) 86:49–66
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1 3
mentioned the expectation that childcare should be a respon-
sibility that the father or another partner would also shoul-
der. In other words, women’s work continued to be seen in
relation to their ability to address childcare needs, without
much consideration for how working fathers (or another
partner) could or would balance both considerations.
Analysis oftheHusband Does Housework Beliefs
The majority of participants disagreed with the idea that a
working husband should not help his wife around the house.
Most participants (69.33%; 57.3% women) either strongly,
moderately, or slightly disagreed, whereas 12.50% (59%
women) neither agreed nor disagreed, and the remaining
18.18% (25% women) either somewhat, moderately, or
strongly agreed. Overall, then, most participants believed
that a working husband should help around the house.
Analyses revealed four major themes associated with partici-
pants’ assumptions underlying their views and explanations
for their position: 1) housework is also a working man’s job,
2) wives are working (at home or otherwise) too, 3) a work-
ing husband should rest,and 4) housework should be shared.
Each theme is considered in more detail below. (See Table2
for a summary of major themes and code frequency).
Housework isalsoaWorking Man’s Job
Many participants stated that the woman is not the only one
responsible for maintaining the home and that the husband
should always help despite working outside the home. For
example, one participant noted, “His job is not done there,
he has to care for the household as well” (M). Likewise,
many women also stated that the husband should not expect
the end of his paid working hours to be the end of his work-
ing day.Examples of these responses include: “A husband
should provide assistance around the house and should not
expect the wife to do all of the household chores” (W) and
“The husband signed up to both have a career and a home.
He should always help” (W). Note that in both examples,
participants echoed the wording of the question by using the
word “help” or “providing assistance” rather than indicating
that they should each do an equal share.
Some participants also noted that the wife can expect
the husband to help, as she should not be expected to
complete all the household duties herself, even when the
husband has had a hard day. For example, a participant
argued, “A wife can expect whatever she may want from
her husband, whether it be after a "hard day of work" or
not” (W). Moreover, for some, the expectation that the
husband should do housework extended to situations in
which the wife did not have a paying job. For example, one
woman presented the following scenario of a stay-at-home
mother married to a father working full-time:
In the case where the husband is the primary bread-
winner in the family, and the wife is a stay-at-home
mom, the husband should not assume that he can sit
back for the rest of the night. The wife also had a full
day of responsibilities with taking care of household
duties and the children. If the wife needs help when
the husband comes home, it is his duty to help. He
should not expect to be served when he comes home.
That would mean the woman had a full day of work-
ing without any breaks, but the man finished work-
ing at 5:00 pm. A marriage should share the work
equally, regardless of whose paycheck is bigger. (W)
Several participants assumed that the spouses had a
family, and that assumption affected the work at home that
needed to be done. Some challenged the notion that men
should not have any household obligations once they come
home when there are children to take care of. Many were
resistant to having the husband rest while the wife had to
care for the children and the household. For instance:
I understand that working full time is long and very
tiring, but that doesn't mean the wife should be doing
all the work. I wouldn't expect my husband to come
home and lay on the couch while I take care of the
kids and cook dinner and clean up and bathe the kids
and put them to bed, etc. I would expect him to watch
the kids while I cook or vice versa. After the kids are
asleep, then both parents can take a break. (W)
Just because you have a day job does not mean you
can come home and relax. You also signed up to be
a father and raise a family so when you come home
from your job, that’s your next job is taking care of
your family. (W)
Overall, most participants believed that a hard day at
work should not excuse the husband from doing chores.
For instance, one participant noted, “It should be expected
that both help each other out on tougher days and that
partners should be trying to not let work stress affect fam-
ily responsibilities” (M). Therefore, participants believed
that a husband’s contribution to housework and home life
should not be directly affected by his work outside the
home.
Wives are Working Too
Several participants noted that husbands should engage in
household labor in the evening because wives are engaging
in labor during the day as well. However, significantly more
women than men in the sample mentioned the possibility
that both spouses’ work. For example, one participant noted,
“The woman comes home from a hard day's work also. It
shouldn't just be subject to one gender” (W). Likewise,
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Table 2 Themes and Coding Analysis for Husband does Housework Beliefs
Major Themes
Codes Description Cohen’s Kappa Counts/ Percentages Exemplary Quote
Housework is Also a Working Man’s Job
Husbands should always help Refers to the idea that a husband should always help with
housework
1.00 20 (11.4%) “The husband should always help the wife, no matter what
sex.” W
Husbands can work and help Refers to a husband’s work status, but also notes that he is
still capable of helping with housework after
1.00 32 (18.2%) “Even if he had a hard day, he should still do his part at
home.” W
Wives need help Refers to the wife needing help to complete housework 1.00 7 (3.8%) “The wife still needs help.” W
Wives can’t do everything Refers to the idea that the wife cannot do all the housework
and childcare by herself
.74 6 (3.4%) “I get a long days work sucks, but if a woman is working too
she should not be expected to do everything by herself.
The man should also help if they are both in the same
boat. Even if she doesn't work, it is disrespectful to his
wife if he does not help at least a little bit.” W
Wives can expect help Refers to the wife having the right to expect her husband
to help
1.00 5 (2.8%) “The wife should be allowed to have some expectations and
deserves help around the house.” W
Husbands must do something Refers to the husband having the responsibility to help
around the house in some manner
.79 7 (3.8%) “The wife could have worked hard all day too. Just because
he is a man doesn't mean he is exempt from responsibility.”
W
Wives are Working Too
Both partners work Refers to both spouses working hard or having full days at
home and or at work
.71 24 (14.6%) “If both partners work, then household responsibilities may
get pushed off sometimes, but should still be a team effort.
If the wife does have a less demanding job, then she may
step in and do more housework, versus her husband with a
time demanding job.” W
Work from home is still work Refers to the wife laboring in the home as work 1.00 11 (6.3%) “Just because the husband is going out to work doesn't
mean the mother isn't working just as hard at home all
day.” W
A Working Husband Should Rest
Husbands need rest Refers to a husband being excused from housework due to
needing to rest after work
1.00 17 (9.7%) “If he comes home from a hard day's work, and she is a
housewife, then she should understand to let him take some
time for himself. He has spend the entire day providing for
the family.” M
Housework Should be Shared
Shared responsibility Refers to the expectation that chores should be a shared
responsibility
1.00 20 (12.5%) “being married is a two person things and they should share
shores together no matter what. The wife shouldn't expect
to do everything just because the husband came tired
from work. She could've came home tired as well and not
want to do the chores.” W
Equal responsibility Refers to the husband and wife having equal responsibility
in the home
.83 19 (10.8%) “A husband is equally responsible for what needs to be
done at home as the wife.” W
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1 3
another participant stated that, “The wife may work just as
hard as the husband, or the wife may even work harder. I
think they should both take care of the house- e.g., cook
and clean up kids messes” (M).Therefore, if the wife was
noted as working, both her and her husband were expected
to participate in chores.
In addition to considering the possibility that the wife
also worked outside of the home, some participants noted
that unpaid labor during the day (e.g., childcare) and work-
ing from home are still work, and thus, chores should still be
shared. For instance, one participant stated that, “They share
the house, therefore they both need to put in work. The wife
still could have had just as hard of a day as the husband's
workday even if she works from home, is a stay-at-home
mom, etc.” (W). However, only rarely did men in the sam-
ple assume that the couple had children and mention that
the wife working from home as the caretaker of children is
hard work.Therefore, what was considered work was often
gendered.
On the other hand, participants sometimes suggested
that a wife’s working status impacts the chores she should
be responsible for, and if the wife does not engage in paid
labor, she should be fully responsible for the chores: “If she
is not working then all the chores should already be done”
(M) and “If the woman didn’t work at all then she should be
doing the household chores” (M). Another participant sug-
gested that the wife should do more, though not necessary all
the household chores, “Household work should be a part of
everyone's shared duties, although I do think it is the wife's
responsibility to do more if she is a stay-at-home wife” (W).
Therefore, several participants tied what chores the husband
could do to whether the wife had completed them or not
based on her own availability.
A Working Husband Should Rest
Although participants typically agreed that men should
help in the home, several participants assumed that the wife
would do most of the chores to help her husband rest after
a hard day. For example, one participant stated that, “If the
husband had a hard day's work, the wife should comfort and
take care of him. Maybe give him a massage, but definitely
make dinner and clean” (M). Interestingly, typically partici-
pants who believe that the husband needs rest following a
hard day at work were women. For example, one participant
wrote, “If the husband does need a break after work, then
the wife should respect that and not try to push chores on
him. But he should also equally share chores when he has the
time to” (W). For this participant, a concern with equality is
most relevant when the husband has time. Similarly, another
participant noted, “The husbands need to be cut a break if
they return from extremely stressful jobs. If they are not
beat, then they can help” (W). Therefore, several participants
assumed the husband’s needs (e.g., to rest) should be prior-
itized. Expectations for sharing household work depended
on when it was convenient for the husband.
Others noted that the desire to rest should be respected,
but that a husband could not rest all the time. Several par-
ticipants noted that the wife should allow her husband to rest
sometimes. One said, “If the husband comes home everyday
from a "hard day" that is not acceptable. But here and there
that can be allowed” (W). Another noted,
The husband should expect to help around the house
when coming home, but there are some certain circum-
stances where the male needs some time to himself and
the wife can be respectful of this. This should also then
go both ways though. (W)
Only moderately disagree because if it's a really tough
day every once in a while and you know he doesn't
want to be bothered, just give him the night off. Other
than the extreme, he needs to be responsible for getting
his share done around the house. (M)
A few men who advocated for a husband’s right to rest ref-
erenced traditional gender roles. Specifically, some men men-
tioned the husband’s position as the primary breadwinner of
the family, as presented in the following examples:“Keeping
a house together is a shared responsibility but if he is the only
one bringing in money it might be best to let him have some
nights off” (M) and “If he comes home from a hard day's work,
and she is a housewife, then she should understand to let him
take some time for himself. He has spend the entire day pro-
viding for the family” (M). The implication seems to be that
earning money is more difficult or important, and therefore
requires more rest than unpaid work. In fact, many participants
assumed that the wife would be responsible for the chores until
her husband had the time to contribute. Sometimes participants
referenced a concern for fairness to support their assumption of
the husband needing rest. For instance, “If the wife was home
all day while the husband was hard at work, it is only fair to
give him a slight break in this situation” (W).
Housework Should be Shared
Only some participants mentioned that chores should be a
shared or the equal responsibility of both spouses. Partici-
pants asserted in the following examples that because the
home belongs to both of them, both spouses are responsible
to contribute in some way: “The wife may work just as hard
as the husband, or the wife may even work harder. i think
they should both take care of the house- e.g., cook and clean
up kids messes” (M) and “The husband should at least try
to do things around the house because it's a group effort,
not just for the wife to do. Chores are because of the whole
family and it is everyone's responsibility” (W).
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1 3
However, gender differences emerged. Oftentimes, those
who said that the chores should be shared or equal were
women. For some, the expectation for equality in chore par-
ticipation was based on the wife’s work status, as this justifi-
cation suggests: “It depends on working situations: I believe
stay at home mothers should take care of the majority of
household chores if they are not working. If the mother does
work, the father should help equally with housework” (W).
For these participants, equality in chores is only necessary
when both spouses’ have jobs, and even more, jobs that pay
equally and/or are equally difficult. Another participant also
noted that household responsibilities depend on who works,
as well as the difficulty of each job and the pay earned:
This depends on the job of both the husband and the
wife, but I do not think the wife should expect the
husband to do this if he has the harder job that pays
for the majority of expenses. I think the scale is more
tipped to the wife doing most of the work if she does
not have a job. However, it could be tipped the other
way if they both have equal amounts of work in their
jobs. Then, the chores would be split more evenly. (M)
In summary, many participants believed that a husband
should help with household chores even if he worked full-
time. The word “help” implies that the major responsibility
belongs to someone else; however, very few challenged
the notion that help was not enough, or suggested that the
husband should do an equal amount. Moreover, partici-
pants often framed the husband’s involvement in relation
to his wife, and particularly his wife’s work status. When
participants advocated for more equal participation from
the husband, it was often tied to the daily activities of the
wife—particularly work for pay. In fact, the pay and diffi-
culty of work by both spouses was often key to determining
how much they should contribute to the household, and
husbands who were the primary breadwinners were seen as
especially deserving of rest. The exception to this seemed
to be when participants assumed the couple had children.
Participants who mentioned children often considered
contributions (and sometimes equal contributions) from
the husband to be required. Some noted that the chores
should be shared or equally divided simply because the
home is both of theirs, and therefore a shared responsibil-
ity. Therefore, in answering our second research question,
the results suggest that emerging adults expect working
men to help with housework, but also expect both partners
to make allowances for the demands of the workplace, as
well as childcare demands. In particular, men’s involve-
ment in housework was relational—participants considered
his involvement in the home to be based on not only his
career (he can rest, he has to at least help after work), but
his wife’s career as well.
Discussion
The main purpose of this study was to investigate the
underlying assumptions of U.S. heterosexual emerging
adults attending a PWI institution about balancing the dual
demands within the home and the workplace. The results
indicated that overall, emerging adults believe that mothers
of preschool-aged children should have the choice to work,
and that working husbands should help their wives to do
housework. These findings are consistent with recent gen-
der attitudes in support of working women (Dernberger &
Pepin, 2020) and the expectation that husbands should help
with the chores even if they are working (Midgette, 2020;
Wenhold & Harrison, 2020). However, thematic analysis
of participants’ open-ended responses about the demands
of work life and home life suggested that working mothers
were expected to model men’s roles in the working world
without the support from home that many men receive. In
other words, they were expected to not let children “limit
them,” whereas very few participants noted the possibility or
expectation of a second partner to support childcare needs,
and only a few mentioned that “helping” is not the same as
contributing equally. Moreover, many participants consid-
ered work contributions as a legitimate reason for avoiding
housework. Overall, in both situations, participants tended
to expect flexibility from the family, and especially the wife,
in response to work-life requirements.
Few participants relied explicitly on gender stereotypes
when explaining how family life and work life should be
balanced. However, emerging adults made sense of how
life should be balanced in gendered ways, as suggested
by the prior literature: working husbands should be help-
ers (Midgette, 2020; Wenhold & Harrison, 2020), but
not expected to stay at home to do childcare (Fulcher &
Coyle, 2011; Fulcher etal., 2015), whereas mothers can be
workers (Gere & Helwig, 2012), if not limited by children
(Ezzedeen etal., 2018). Together, these findings suggest
the development of a one-sided form of egalitarianism that
shows preference and valuing of career and autonomy of
men and women to some degree (i.e., optional or not to be
limited), rather than a balancing of both career needs as
well as family members’ care needs.
Although attitudes among younger generations have been
found to be supportive of working mothers (Scarborough
etal., 2021), the contemporary views of participants in this
study suggest that little progress has been made regarding
how men will contribute to women’s work-life balance. This
is evident in the current absence of men in communal roles
(Croft etal., 2015) and the unequal division of domestic
labor in American dual earner households where women are
still performing more household duties than men, including
more laundry, cooking, cleaning, and washing the dishes
61Sex Roles (2022) 86:49–66
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1 3
(Brenan, 2021). Although in dual-earner households where
spouses have similar incomes, men are more likely to help
with household chores (Brenan, 2021), the language of
“help” is problematic. “Helping” perpetuates these gender
inequalities in the home because it maintains that the chores
are primarily the women’s job (Miller & Carlson, 2016) and
lets men off the hook as far as being equally responsible for
the household. In the current study, few participants ques-
tioned the idea of men “helping” as the primary form of
engagement in chores, thus supporting previous findings that
emerging adult women expect to take the primary responsi-
bility for chores in their future relationships (Askari etal.,
2010; Dernberger & Pepin, 2020; Fetterolf & Eagly, 2011).
As argued by recent scholarship, much of the focus on
gender parity has concentrated on women engaging in the
workforce, and less on men’s engagement in communal
and family roles (Croft etal., 2015; Meeussen etal., 2020),
such as those of childcare. Our findings indicate that at the
individual level, emerging adults also treat gender parity as
a woman-problem, rather than a relational one (i.e., to be
worked out between the spouses with both contributing sub-
stantially at home). We argue that the language of women’s
choice to work contributes to the notion that work is optional
for women, and it only becomes an option if they organize
the family’s childcare. Many of participants’ responses did
not consider the obligations of fathers to play a substantial
role in their children’s care. Thus, the participants rarely
considered men’s role in contributing to women’s work-force
engagement. Together, these assumptions help explain how
despite endorsing egalitarian attitudes, college-attending
heterosexual emerging adults in a U.S. PWI continue to
expect gendered roles when balancing family and work life
with the burden of this balancing act placed on the women.
Contextualizing Heterosexual Relational
Assumptions
As pointed out by several participants in this study, the
gender relations assumed within participants’ responses
were also often classed and raced. For example, the lan-
guage of “choice” to work was questioned by several par-
ticipants, who noted that not all women had the financial
choice to not work. In fact, recent research has noted class
differences in expectations for engaging in household
labor (Miller & Carlson, 2016), highlighting that class
may influence both men and women’s gender ideology
about housework. For instance, most of our participants
agreed that men should help with chores, which has been
found to be more likely to be the case in families where
men attended college than in those in which they have
not (Miller & Carlson, 2016).Moreover, prior research
has shown racial and ethnic differences in how Ameri-
can families divide household labor: African American
families tend to have the lowest housework gap between
heterosexual couples, followed by European American,
Asian American, and Latinx couples (Wight etal., 2013).
Studies have suggested that these racial-ethnic differences
may be in part explained by cultural differences in atti-
tudes about the value of housework (Perry-Jenkins etal.,
2013), early messages socializing boys when they were
younger, and expectations for early engagement in house-
hold involvement and competence (Penha-Lopes, 2006).
Therefore, it is likely that in our primarily White sample,
students’ attitudes may be influenced by their prior cul-
tural and ethnic socialization, and in another sample other
assumptions may be underlying expectations for balancing
work and family life.
The current study contributes to the literature on the
outsourcing of family labor by demonstrating how the
next generation of college-attending primarily White het-
erosexual men and women in our sample assumed that
women should continue to attend to the issue of childcare
as a personal problem by outsourcing the labor to others.
As reflected in prior research, outsourcing childcare has
become a strategy for balancing work and care for dual-
earner couples (Harbach, 2012; Raz‐Yurovich, 2014), and
provides options for families with personal, economic,
or structural (i.e., work) barriers or based on their per-
sonal preferences (Harbach, 2012). Studies have shown
that public preschool increases mothers labor force par-
ticipation and decreases female career sacrifices (Malik,
2018), while full-day kindergarten makes it more likely
for women to work full-time when compared to half-day
programs (Cannon etal., 2006). Participants in this study
acknowledged the complexity and heterogeneity of famil-
ial situations that contribute to childcare decision making
as emphasized in past literature (Harbach, 2012). Addi-
tionally, participants expressed that there is more than
one way of caring for a child, citing preschools, daycares,
babysitters, and other family members as means of provid-
ing care (Harbach, 2012), yet rarely suggested the father
provide child care, reflecting the trends of families using
babysitters and other family members (i.e., grandparents)
over fathers to care for their children when the woman is
working (Laughlin, 2010). Thus, our sample supported the
outsourcing of childcare to make it possible for mothers to
work, but they did not assume childcare needs would be
shared with or met by fathers.
Limitations andFuture Research Directions
One of the main contributions of this study was the use
of open-ended responses that allowed us to gain insight
into U.S. heterosexual college-attending emerging adults’
underlying assumptions about balancing work and family
life within heterosexual households. However, this study
62 Sex Roles (2022) 86:49–66
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1 3
had limitations. As this study relied on short, open-ended
questions that were part of a longer survey, future research
should include longer in-depth interviews to gain greater
understanding of how emerging adults are making sense of
their future work-life balance and household dynamics. In
addition, each situation we provided to participants focused
on one gender, and it would be interesting to investigate
how emerging adults would respond to less traditional situ-
ations such as a wife who wants to relax after a hard day or
a husband’s expectations about work outside the home when
he has preschool aged children. Future research should fur-
ther explore what contributes to expecting family-life to be
responsive to work-life, rather than work-life being respon-
sive to family-life, and whether the expectations of which
realm should be most responsive differs when considering
husbands versus wives. Moreover, future research should
consider items and questions that would include egalitarian
situations as well as diverse family formations (e.g., single-
parent family, same-sex couples, multi-generation family).
Additionally, this study was limited to a specific sample
at a single point in time. To better understand how emerg-
ing adults’ gender ideologies contribute to expectations
and actual future divisions, future longitudinal research
is needed. This study was also limited to primarily White
heterosexual emerging adult men and women attending a
PWI in the United States. As evidenced by a recent review
of work and family research in the second decade of the
twenty-first century (Perry-Jenkins & Gerstel, 2020), more
research is needed to investigate race and class heterogene-
ity. In addition, prior research suggests that same-sex fami-
lies tend to be more egalitarian in their division of house-
hold tasks than different-sex families (Goldberg etal., 2012;
Perlesz etal., 2010). Investigating sexual minority emerging
adults’ understanding of work and family balance may pro-
vide additional insight into how families can balance the
two forms of labor and create more egalitarian divisions.
Finally, future research is needed to investigate what factors
contribute to considering childcare as a responsibility to be
worked out by all parents where parity can also be expected.
In line with Fulcher etal. (2015) suggestion that the cultural
expectation of gendered roles in the home has not advanced
as far as the roles in the workplace, our work underscores
the need to further investigate what contributes to cultural
expectations for men’s involvement in family life.
Practice Implications
The expectation that childcare is a problem that women are
responsible for solving aligns with prior findings that the gen-
dered division of labor in the home, specifically care work, is
both expected and accepted by the public (Croft etal., 2015),
and is evident today during the COVID-19 pandemic as moth-
ers are often the ones to stop working in order to care for their
children (Collins etal., 2020). Our findings suggest that the
burden will continue to fall on women to “choose” to take on
family responsibilities as long as several assumptions remain
unchallenged. Rather than aiming to encourage families and
the next generation of emerging adults to support women’s
involvement in the workplace, the assumption that women
should be able to “choose” to work or care for their children
should be questioned. Both policymakers and educators
should consider practices that support and encourage the role
of men in addressing childcare needs, so that work and home
life can go beyond a woman’s choice (or problem). For exam-
ple, workforce policies such as lack of access to paid pater-
nity leave for fathers would require men to stay at work and
perpetuates the male breadwinner norm (Bartel etal., 2016).
Similarly, there is a need to challenge the assumption
that men should “help.” As many scholars have noted
(e.g., Midgette, 2020; Miller & Carlson, 2016), referring
to a husband’s contributions as “help” was reflected in our
data and contributes to the continued gendering of house-
hold labor. Moreover, in discussing career development and
future plans, high school educators and career counselors
should consider moving away from focusing on only career
expectations, and also discussing family involvement con-
siderations; as thinking and planning for family involvement
has been suggested to potentially explain college-attending
men’s greater involvement in household labor (Miller &
Carlson, 2016). Finally, as noted by many feminist scholars,
personal choices are in fact political, and how the family is
run influences the larger systems in place (Bianchi etal.,
2012; Okin, 1989). Social justice courses, courses on ethics,
and others should consider discussing how choices within
the family, such as helping and expecting flexibility in het-
erosexual households are linked with the gendering of labor
within and outside of the family, and ultimately contribute to
society's current class, race, and gender relations (Coltrane, 2000).
Conclusion
Overall, our study found that US heterosexual emerging
adults attending a PWI expected childcare to be a problem
for a working mother to solve (or to outsource to others to
solve), and they rarely mentioned the role of the working
fathers in childcare to support the family and their working
spouse. Overall, our findings suggest that the husband’s
involvement in family life was tied to his wife’s involve-
ment but did not often state the same expectations for a
wife’s involvement in either work or family life to be tied
to her husband’s involvement. Therefore, when considering
how families come to balance paid and unpaid labor within
and outside the home, as recommended by Croft etal.
(2015), we need to move beyond emphasizing women’s
roles and choices to consider the role of men in more com-
munal roles in the home. Ultimately, our study suggests
63Sex Roles (2022) 86:49–66
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1 3
that addressing potentially unspoken assumptions about
who should and can care within the family can serve as
a potential catalyst for accelerating the gender revolution.
Acknowledgements We wish to thank the college students that partici-
pated in our study for their cooperation with this research. We also appre-
ciate the help of Morgan Bower for coding and establishing reliability.
The writing of this manuscript was supported in part by a postdoctoral
fellowship provided by the National Institute of Child Health and Human
Development (T32-HD007376) through the Frank Porter Graham Child
Development Institute, University of North Carolina at Chapel Hill. A
paper drawing from the same larger dataset, but that examined different
research questions was recently published: Midgette, A. J., & D’Andrea,
D. (2021). American heterosexual emerging adults’ reasoning about the
fairness of household labor. Cognitive Development, 59, 101052.
Author Contribution Allegra Midgette and Clare Conry-Murray con-
tributed to the initial study conception, design, and material prepara-
tion. Data collection: Allegra Midgette, Clare Conry-Murray; Analysis:
Ann McConnon, Allegra Midgette. Writing: Ann McConnnon, Allegra
Midgette, Clare Conry-Murray. All authors commented on and edited
previous versions of the manuscript. All authors read and approved
the final manuscript.
Funding The authors have no financial or proprietary interests in any
material discussed in this article. No funding was received for conduct-
ing data collection for this study. The writing of this manuscript was
supported in part by a postdoctoral fellowship provided by the National
Institute of Child Health and Human Development (T32-HD007376) to
the second author through the Frank Porter Graham Child Development
Institute, University of North Carolina at Chapel Hill.
Availability of Data and Materials The authors can be contacted to
share the codebook and materials.
Declarations
Ethics Approval This study involved research with adult human partici-
pants. Informed consent was obtained from all individual participants
included in the study. This study received approval by the Institutional
Review Board at Saint Joseph’s University (No. 1510757).
Informed Consent Informed consent was obtained from all individual
participants included in the study.
Research Involving Human Participants and/or Animals This study
involved research with adult human participants. This study received
approval by the Institutional Review Board at St. Joseph’s University
(No. 1510757).
Conflicts of Interest The authors have no relevant financial or non-
financial conflicts of interests to disclose.
Open Access This article is licensed under a Creative Commons Attri-
bution 4.0 International License, which permits use, sharing, adapta-
tion, distribution and reproduction in any medium or format, as long
as you give appropriate credit to the original author(s) and the source,
provide a link to the Creative Commons licence, and indicate if changes
were made. The images or other third party material in this article are
included in the article's Creative Commons licence, unless indicated
otherwise in a credit line to the material. If material is not included in
the article's Creative Commons licence and your intended use is not
permitted by statutory regulation or exceeds the permitted use, you will
need to obtain permission directly from the copyright holder. To view a
copy of this licence, visit http:// creat iveco mmons. org/ licen ses/ by/4. 0/.
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