The quality of marital communication of spouses with a higher and lower level of satisfaction with their relationship

Abstract

Seventy-five marriage couples were investigated in the study. According to M. Braun-Gałkowska’s Marital Success Scale, two groups were distinguished, of 30 couples each, with higher and lower levels of satisfaction with their relationship. The quality of marital communication was determined on the basis of the results of the Communication in Marriage Questionnaire by M. Kaźmierczak and M. Plopa, which presents it in terms of support, commitment and depreciation. Spouses with a higher level of satisfaction with their relationship are characterized by a higher quality of communication, especially in terms of mutual commitment and support in everyday life of their marriage.

Full text

DIALOG, KOMUNIKACJA. UJĘCIE INTERDYSCYPLINARNE
KWARTALNIK NAUKOWY FIDES ET RATIO 2(46)2021 ISSN 2082-7067
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Dr Lidia Dakowicz*, https://orcid.org/0000-0001-6424-1370
Dr Andrzej Dakowicz*, https://orcid.org/0000-0002-3614-8985
*Faculty of Education
University of Bialystok
The Quality of Marital Communication of Spouses
with a Higher and Lower Level of Satisfaction
with their Relationship
Jakość komunikacji małżeńskiej małżonków
o wyższym i niższym poziomie zadowolenia
ze swojego związku
1
https://doi.org/10.34766/fetr.v46i2.797
Abstract: Seventy-five marriage couples were investigated in the study. According to M. Braun-
Gałkowska’s Marital Success Scale, two groups were distinguished, of 30 couples each, with higher
and lower levels of satisfaction with their relationship. The quality of marital communication was
determined on the basis of the results of the Communication in Marriage Questionnaire by
M. Kaźmierczak and M. Plopa, which presents it in terms of support, commitment and depreciation.
Spouses with a higher level of satisfaction with their relationship are characterized by a higher quality
of communication, especially in terms of mutual commitment and support in everyday life of their
marriage.
Keywords: marriage, marriage satisfaction, marital communication, support, commitment,
depreciation
Abstrakt: Badaniom poddano 75 par małżeńskich, spośród których na podstawie wyniku Skali
Powodzenia Małżeństwa M. Braun-Gałkowskiej, wyróżniono po 30 małżeństw o wyższym i niższym
poziomie zadowolenia ze swojego związku. Jakość komunikacji małżeńskiej określono w oparciu
o wyniki Kwestionariusza Komunikacji Małżeńskiej M. Kaźmierczak i M. Plopy, który ujmuje ją
w aspekcie udzielanego wsparcia, zaangażowania i deprecjacji. Małżonkowie o wyższym poziomie
zadowolenia ze swojego związku charakteryzują się wyższą jakością komunikacji, szczególnie
w aspekcie wzajemnego zaangażowania i udzielania sobie wsparcia w codzienności życia
małżeńskiego.
Słowa kluczowe: małżeństwo, zadowolenie z małżeństwa, komunikacja małżeńska, wsparcie,
zaangażowanie, deprecjacja
Introduction
The relationship between marriage mates provides the basis for family functioning
(Sorkowicz, 2021) and contributes the most to the atmosphere in the family (Dakowicz,
1
Wersja w języku polskim na stronie:
https://www.stowarzyszeniefidesetratio.pl/Presentations0/2021-2-07Dakowicz2.pdf

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2020). The spouses naturally expect to have a relationship that would be satisfying for both
of them. Some couples do achieve this, while others do not, which results in the deterioration
of their relationship and ultimately, the decision to end the marriage in divorce (Paprzycka,
Mianowska, 2020). The quality of marital relationship is determined by factors occurring
both before and after the wedding (Weryszko, 2020a). If the future spouses had parents who
were satisfied with their marriage, they are usually able to establish close, constructive
relations with their partner (Wańczyk-Welc, Marmola, 2020). To maintain and develop
interpersonal relations, you need the appropriate level of intellectual, personal, emotional,
social and psychosexual development (Rostowska, 2003).
Experiencing courtship, learning about each other, and in particular, conscious
engagement in preparation to marriage, modify the quality of the future marital relationship.
Participation in premarital education helps achieve a higher level of marital satisfaction and
commitment in the marriage, and a lower frequency of conflicts and likelihood of divorce
(Cobb, Sullivan, 2015; Chrząstowski, 2020). Longitudinal studies concerning the
dependencies between the quality of communication during courtship and satisfaction with
the marriage clearly show a positive impact of communication full of support and
commitment on satisfaction with marriage and a negative impact of depreciating
communication on satisfaction with marriage (Weryszko, 2012). The higher the level of
anxiety during courtship, the lower the satisfaction during marriage. High expectations of
the marriage in the engagement period, which can be treated as an expression of high
aspirations motivating to act for the good of the relationship, lead to increased satisfaction
with marriage (Ulfik-Jaworska, 2012).
The more and more frequent phenomenon of cohabiting before the wedding has
a negative impact on the quality of the future marriage (Ulfik-Jaworska, 2015). Couples
living together before the marriage have a lower quality relationship afterwards, reduced
trust in the institution of marriage, and a higher likelihood of dissolution of the marriage
(Raley, Sweeney, 2020), especially in the case of cohabiting more than once (Janicka, Cieślak,
2020). The higher divorce rate in marriages preceded by cohabitation is connected with lower
commitment to the institution of marriage and higher individualism developed in the
cohabitation period (Janicka, 2010).
Sexual initiation before the wedding may have a positive or negative influence on the
quality of marriage. If the first sexual contact was satisfying, the partners consider it as
having a beneficial influence on the development of their relationship. If, however, the
women feel pressured by their partners to engage in sexual activity, it has a negative impact
on the relationship they are in and lowers the quality of the marriage (Jankowiak,
Waszyńska, 2011). The basic conditions that can only be met in a marriage, contributing to
satisfaction with a sexual intercourse, include love, engagement in gradual and proper
development of the love relationship, its sexual and non-sexual expressions, rituals and

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celebrations, joyfully waiting while displaying temperance, exclusiveness, faithfulness and
responsibility (Kornas-Biela, 2012). The quality of the relationship and the character of
mutual relations between the partners before the wedlock may be a good prognostic
indicator of their married life in the future (Chmielewska, 2019). Involvement in building
high quality relationship before the wedding provides a good foundation for the marriage,
allowing its further development afterwards, ensuring the quality that gives the sense of
satisfaction to both spouses.
1. Marital communication as one of the factors influencing the sense
of satisfaction with the relationship
The atmosphere of marriage life is basically shaped by both spouses, who express
themselves in various ways because of their personality determinants, such as temperament
and intelligence, which are hardly modifiable (Hill et al., 2018; Lengua, Gartstein, Prinzie,
2019). With regard to temperamental characteristics dictating specific styles of responding in
particular situations of married life (Rawicka, Rzepa, 2017), researchers have sought to
identify more and less favorable combinations of temperamental types of husbands and
wives (Juroszek, 2017). However, we need to remember that they exist in a broader context
of complex personality, so the couples may manifest them in various ways. The spouses’
level of classical intelligence, understood as the ability to cope in new situations through the
use of thinking resources, is insignificant for marital satisfaction (Dakowicz, 2014). But as
regards emotional intelligence, understood as a set of abilities determining the use of
emotions when solving problems (Jaworowska, Matczak, 2001), its higher level leads to
increased sense of satisfaction with the marriage relationship (Erus, Deniz, 2020). Marital
satisfaction is also promoted by the partners’ empathy and open-mindedness (Weryszko,
2020b). Empathic care and accepting the mate’s perspective forms your positive image in
their eyes (Chrost, 2020) and encourages them to express support and commitment through
communication (Siemiątkowska, Obrębska, 2020). These characteristics can largely be
attributed to androgyny, i.e., the person having a high level of feminine (expressive) and
masculine (instrumental) traits at the same time (Wołpiuk-Ochocińska, 2020), which helps
satisfy the need of security (Dakowicz, 2002). The positive impact of expressive traits on
spouses’ relationship, manifested in greater orientation at another person, can be explained
by the intimate nature of marital relationship. It is much more important than their efficiency
in doing tasks (Szyszka, 2020). Fuller satisfaction of the natural desire for intimacy and
tenderness of the partner gives you the sense of happiness, which produces the atmosphere
of marital relationship satisfying for both sides (Mandal, 2004). A similar trait that is also
very important in a close interpersonal relationship is intimacy, understood as a positive
feeling and related activity causing affection, closeness and mutual dependence (Wojciszke,

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2017). A high level of intimacy reduces the risk of depression and anxiety symptoms (Ryś,
Greszta, Grabarczyk, 2019). Just like in the case of religiosity, there is a regularity that
a higher level of intimacy makes the spouses more engaged in overcoming the emerging
difficulties, especially through working on their own personality and through marital dialog
(Dakowicz, 2013; Trębicka, Cichocka, 2019; Mahoney, Flint, McGraw, 2020; Rucki, 2020).
A marriage is a special form of close interpersonal relation (Adler, Rosenfeld, Proctor
II, 2007, p. 442), assumed to be lifelong, whose goal is to achieve the common good by
creating a multi-aspect community of life (Braun-Gałkowska, 1985, pp. 17-18). Marriage
mates influence each other on many planes, engaging in the incessant process of interaction,
thus creating the atmosphere in their marriage (Braun-Gałkowska, 2020), which naturally
requires agreement and dialog (Breton, 2020; Jabłońska, 2020). Usually, at the beginning of
their life together, the spouses focus on communicating directly, which then gradually
changes into indirect communication. Consequently, the level of expressiveness and
relationship control lowers and the range of issues regarded as obvious grows. More and
more family rituals, personal beliefs and intuitive understanding become part of
communication between the partners (Kuryś-Szyncel, Błachnio, 2020). Living together with
the marriage mate leads to natural changes, which involve normative crises, cause various
conflicts related to the loss of purpose in life, faith, changes in the system of values, ethics, or
trust in another person (Pyźlak, 2020), and the way of solving those conflicts modifies the
quality of the marital relationship (Otero et al., 2020).
2. Methodology
The study attempted to determine whether the quality of marital communication
differentiates between spouses with a higher and lower level of satisfaction with their
relationship. The review of source literature justifies the assumption that spouses with
a higher level of satisfaction with their marriage also display a higher quality of marital
communication.
The research involved married couples living in or around Białystok, in the first
formal marriage lasting for at least 5 years, with secondary or higher education,
professionally active and having two children. The study was carried out by the participants
of a master’s degree seminar conducted in the years 2014-2016 at the Institute of Social
Psychology and Human Development at the Faculty of Pedagogy and Psychology of the
University of Bialystok
2
. Each seminar participant was asked to investigate families meeting
the assumed criteria. The study was conducted using the Marital Success Scale (Braun-
2
The research was carried out in 2015 by: Wioleta Birycka, Katarzyna Bułynko, Emilia Dylewska,
Milena Chełmińska, Katarzyna Jaroszuk, Wiktoria Karpowicz, Anna Kułak, Urszula Kułak, Katarzyna
Pruszyńska, Aleksandra Sokolik, Karol Suprun, Arlena Szpakowska, Agnieszka Zalewska, Dagmara
Zieniuk.

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Gałkowska, 2007) and the Communication in Marriage Questionnaire (Kaźmierczak, Plopa,
2005).
Following the assumed research procedure produced complete results for 75 families.
On the basis of the score obtained in the Marital Success Scale (Braun-Gałkowska, 2007), two
groups of 30 couples with a higher and lower level of satisfaction with their marriage were
determined.
Table 1. Characteristics of study groups
Selected characteristics of
spouses
Spouses with a higher level of
satisfaction with their marriage
Spouses with a lower level of
satisfaction with their marriage
Wives
(N=30)
Husbands
(N=30)
Wives
(N=30)
Husbands
(N=30)
Age (mean)
40.4
41.1
40.4
41.9
Education
level
N (%)
Higher
20 (66.7%)
14 (46.7%)
19 (63.3%)
13 (43.3%)
Secondary
10 (33.3%)
16 (53.3%)
11 (36.7%)
17 (56.7%)
Length of marriage (mean)
16.2
16.9
Children’s sex
N (%)
Girl
29 (48.3%)
36 (60.0%)
Boy
31 (51.7%)
24 (40.0%)
Children’s age
(mean)
Girl
12.5
14.4
Boy
13.4
13.8
In the group of couples with a higher level of satisfaction with their marriage, the
mean level of satisfaction among wives was 82.8 (the lowest – 67, the highest – 100), and
among husbands, 86.4 (the lowest – 65, the highest – 100). The mean length of their marriage
was 16.2 years. The mean age of the wives was 40.4, and of the husbands, 41.1. The wives
with the higher level of satisfaction with marriage more often had higher education (66.7%)
than secondary education (33.3%). In the case of husbands, there was a reverse tendency: the
husbands with a higher level of satisfaction with marriage more often had secondary
education (53.3%) than higher education (46.7%). In the group of couples with a lower level
of satisfaction with their marriage, the mean level of satisfaction among wives was 45.1 (the
lowest – 6, the highest – 90), and among husbands, 49.0 (the lowest – 8, the highest – 95). The
mean length of their marriage was 16.9 years, the mean age of wives was 40.4, and husbands,
41.9. The wives with a lower level of satisfaction with marriage more often had higher
education (63.3%) than secondary education (36.7%), and the husbands more often had
secondary edu56.7%) than higher education (43.3%)
The quality of marital communication was determined using the Communication in
Marriage Questionnaire by M. Kaźmierczak and M. Plopa (2005). Following the assumption
that one of the basic tasks of married couples is to acquire specific knowledge connected
with the system of rules of communication in an intimate relationship, the authors prepared
two versions of a 30-item questionnaire (to assess oneself or the spouse). In the research
project, we used the version concerning the assessment of the spouse in 5 variants: from
1 – “never” (my spouse never behaves like that) to 5 – “always” (my spouse always behaves

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like that). The conducted analyses produced three dimensions of marital communication
whose level of saturation modifies the quality of their relationships:
1) Support (10 items) – showing respect to the partner by appreciating their efforts,
displaying interest in their problems and needs, and active participation in the process of
solving problems together;
2) Commitment (9 items) – the ability to create the atmosphere of mutual
understanding and intimacy in the relationship by showing affection to each other, stressing
the uniqueness and importance of our partner, breaking the everyday routine, and
preventing conflicts in the relationship;
3) Depreciation (11 items) – displaying aggression toward the partner, the wish to
dominate and control their activities, no respect for their dignity.
Thanks to the high psychometric values of the research instrument (Plopa, 2005), the
Communication in Marriage Questionnaire can be used to assess the marital communication
of the studied population.
The research results were analyzed with the computer program SPSS 24.0 PL for
Windows, used to calculate the t-Student test value for the compared groups (Cypryańska,
Bedyńska, 2013, pp. 179-184).
3. Results
The study results concerning interpersonal communication of spouses from the
compared groups show differences reaching the level of statistical significance, both for the
wives (table 2, chart 1) and for the husbands (table 3, chart 2).
Table 2. Marital communication of wives with a higher and a lower level of satisfaction with their
marriage
Scale
Wives with a higher level
of satisfaction (N=30)
Wives with a lower level
of satisfaction (N=30)
Significance of
differences
M
SD
M
SD
t
p<
Support
40.83
6.62
36.17
6.66
2.72
0.01
Commitment
32.77
5.48
27.83
5.50
3.48
0.01
Depreciation
45.47
5.30
42.07
7.82
1.97
0.05
Total score
120.27
13.42
106.07
15.53
3.79
0.01

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Chart 1. Graphic presentation of marital communication of wives with a higher and lower level of
satisfaction with their marriage
Taking into account the total score, the marital communication of wives with a higher
level of satisfaction with their marriage is much better that the communication of wives with
a lower level of satisfaction: t(58)=3.79; p<0.01. The same regularity was found in the case of
particular scales referring to marital communication: support – t(58)=2.72; p<0.01;
commitment – t(58)=3.48; p<0.01; depreciation – t(58)=1.97; p<0.05.
Taking into account the total score, the marital communication of husbands with
a higher level of satisfaction with their marriage is much better that the communication of
husbands with a lower level of satisfaction: t(58)=2.52; p<0.01. A similar regularity was
found in the case of particular scales referring to marital communication: support –
t(58)=3.37; p<0.01, and commitment – t(58)=2.41; p<0.02. No differences reaching the level of
statistical significance were found between the studied groups of husbands in the case of
depreciation.
Table 3. Marital communication of husbands with a higher and lower level of satisfaction with their
marriage
Scale
Husbands with a
higher level of
satisfaction (N=30)
Husbands with a
lower level of
satisfaction (N=30)
Significance of differences
M
SD
M
SD
t
p<
Support
42.47
3.91
37.70
6.68
3.37
0.01
Commitment
32.53
4.96
29.20
5.71
2.41
0.02
Depreciation
44.47
5.79
43.13
7.63
0.76
n.a.
Total score
119.47
10.73
110.37
16.61
2.52
0.01

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Chart 2. Graphic presentation of marital communication of husbands with a higher and lower level of
satisfaction with their marriage
4. Summary and interpretation of results
The assumption of a higher quality of marital communication of spouses with
a higher level of satisfaction with their marriage was fully confirmed as regards the total
score, which is mostly saturated with two dimensions of marital communication: support
and commitment. Support is showing the partner respect in daily life together by means of
appreciating their efforts and displaying interest in their needs and problems, which you
actively try to solve together (Plopa, 2005, p. 129). Commitment is related to creating the
atmosphere of mutual understanding and intimacy in the marriage by showing affection to
each other, stressing the uniqueness and importance of your spouse, breaking the everyday
routine, and the tendency to prevent conflicts in the relationship (Plopa, 2005, p. 130).
Experiencing respect and understanding from your partner makes you want to reciprocate
(Pupin, Waldmajer, 2013) and engage in the relationship to a greater extent (Chmielewska,
2019). This motivates you to build the relationship together despite the need to make effort,
because the benefits increase the sense of life satisfaction (Olearczyk, 2020). This takes place
i.a., in the area of professional activity. Wives are more often willing to sacrifice their
engagement in roles connected with work in order to fulfill marital and family roles
(Mandal, 2008, p. 163). Husbands, in turn, draw greater satisfaction from fulfilling
professional that family roles. “The high level of identification with the job that characterizes
men contributes to higher self-esteem and gives them many other material benefits, thus
allowing them to invest more time in marital and family roles” (Rostowska, 2008, p. 182).
Spouses with a higher and lower level of satisfaction with their marriage differ the
least in the dimension of depreciation in marital communication. Depreciation is the display

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of aggression toward the partner, the lack of respect for their dignity, as well as the wish to
dominate and control their actions (Plopa, 2005, p. 130). Husbands from both groups do not
differ in this respect at the level of statistical significance. It can be explained with the fact
that men do not have enough opportunities in the course of developing communication
competences to achieve more satisfactory results. For cultural reasons, men experience the
reinforcement of strength, independence, and coarseness (Siwiak, 2020). These traits,
becoming part of the masculine identity, affect their way of communicating with women
(Biedroń, 2012). Positive changes in this regard would be possible if more attention was
given to expressing themselves and communicating with others in the process of raising
boys in families (Skreczko, 2017), school education (Nowotarska, 2018) and direct
preparation to marriage (Dullak, 2020). Care for dialog in marital daily life understood as a
long-term process undoubtedly offers the greatest chance to make it satisfying for both
partners, as with the passing of time there will be less and less aggression, violation of
dignity, wish to dominate or control the actions of the spouse. Constantly updated and
expanded knowledge about the spouse allows to plan future actions that will improve the
quality of interpersonal communication (Dakowicz, 2012).
Wives with a higher level of satisfaction with their relationship had higher results in
the dimension of depreciation than wives with a lower level of satisfaction. The difference
was at the level of statistical significance of p<0.05. The reason for that may be a greater sense
of security, resulting in the tendency to express themselves directly under the influence of
strong emotions, which are not controlled by the cognitive sphere. It may be that elements of
depreciation in communication of spouses are a constant signal to try to improve the marital
dialog. The quality of the dialog will be better and better all the time, but it will never
become perfect enough to cease to be a current challenge for the spouses (Kuryś, 2012, p. 28).
Conclusion
Marital communication is one of important factors influencing the spouses’ sense of
satisfaction with their relationship. Three dimensions of marital communication were
analyzed in the presented study: support, commitment, and depreciation, which generally
were higher in spouses satisfied with their marriage than in spouses with a lower level of
satisfaction with the relationship. As part of caring for the good condition of future
marriages, it is worth focus on developing social competencies in adolescents, especially
those connected with providing support and interpersonal engagement, and especially the
development of forms of expressing oneself in contact with another person that would be
free from aggression, the wish to dominate, control or violate their dignity.

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