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Journal of Adolescent
http://jar.sagepub.com/content/24/1/91
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DOI: 10.1177/0743558408328439
2009 24: 91Journal of Adolescent Research
May Lau, Christine Markham, Hua Lin, Glenn Flores and Mariam R. Chacko
Dating and Sexual Attitudes in Asian-American Adolescents
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Dating and Sexual
Attitudes in Asian-American
Adolescents
May Lau, MD, MPH
UT Southwestern Medical Center and Children’s
Medical Center, Dallas, TX
Christine Markham, PhD
University of Texas Health Science Center, Houston, TX
Hua Lin, PhD
UT Southwestern Medical Center, Dallas, TX
Glenn Flores, MD
UT Southwestern Medical Center and Children’s
Medical Center, Dallas, TX
Mariam R. Chacko, MD
Baylor College of Medicine, Houston, TX
Dating behaviors and sexual attitudes of Asian-American youth were examined
in a cross-sectional, mixed-methods study in the context of adherence to Asian
values, measured by the Asian Values Scale (AVS). In all, 31 Asian-American
adolescents (age 14-18 years old) from a Houston community center were
interviewed regarding dating behaviors and sexual attitudes. Almost three-
fourth of adolescents dated without parental knowledge. Compared with
adolescents with the lowest AVS scores, those with the highest AVS scores were
significantly more likely to date without parental knowledge and date longer
before sex. Many adolescents proceeded directly to single, steady, relationships.
Parents permitted dating, as long as grades were maintained. Asian-American
adolescents should be questioned about secret dating, sexual activity, and
participation in other high-risk activities.
Keywords: dating; sexual behavior; Asian-Americans; adolescent; accul-
turation; sexual attitudes
Dating and Sexual Attitudes
Dating, an important element of normal adolescent development in
the United States, is generally initiated between 13 and 15 years of age.
Approximately 90% of adolescents have had dating experience by age 17
Journal of Adolescent
Research
Volume 24 Number 1
January 2009 91-113
© 2009 Sage Publications
10.1177/0743558408328439
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91
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(Longmore, Manning, & Giordano, 2001; Michael & Bickert, 2001;
Thornton, 1990). Dating serves many different roles, including recreation,
companionship, elevating social status, improving relationship skills, explor-
ing sexuality, and courtship (McCabe, 1984; McDaniel, 1969; Skipper &
Nass, 1966). Negative consequences associated with dating include depres-
sive symptoms, poor psychosocial functioning, and disordered eating habits
in girls, poor academic achievement, and early initiation of sexual activity
(Cauffman & Steinberg, 1996; Cooksey, Mott, & Neubauer, 2002; Davies &
Windle, 2000; Michael & Bickert, 2001; Quatman, Sampson, Robinson, &
Watson, 2001; Zimmer-Gembeck, Siebenbruner, & Collins, 2001). Dating is
the strongest predictor of initiating sexual activity (Meier, 2003). Studies of
adolescents with dating experience reveal that 25%-50% report a history of
sexual activity (Cooksey et al., 2002; Longmore et al., 2001). The examina-
tion of dating behaviors as a precursor to sexual activity is important in
understanding dating’s role in sexual initiation.
While dating is one contributor to sexual initiation among adolescents,
sexual attitudes are another, with early onset of dating related to permissive
sexual attitudes (Feldman, Turner, & Araujo, 1999; Meier, 2003; Thornton,
1990). Studies have demonstrated that boys possess more permissive sexual
attitudes than girls (Feldman et al., 1999; Meier, 2003). One study reported
that boys were more likely than girls to believe physical intimacy could
occur earlier in the dating process and that this intimacy was unrelated to
the seriousness of the relationship (Knox & Wilson, 1981; Roche, 1986).
Asians, Dating, and Sexual Attitudes
For Asian adolescent immigrants from countries such as China, Taiwan,
and Vietnam, the seemingly “normal peer behavior” view of dating in the
92 Journal of Adolescent Research
Authors’ Note: This research project was conducted in part while Dr. Lau was a fellow in the
Section of Adolescent & Sports Medicine and the Leadership Education in Adolescent Health
(LEAH) Program at Baylor College of Medicine. It partially fulfilled Dr. Lau’s masters in
public health requirements at the University of Texas Health Science Center at Houston. This
study was funded in part by the University of Texas Health Science Center at Houston, School
of Public Health Student Research Award, UT Southwestern Department of Pediatrics, and the
Maternal and Child Health LEAH training grant 6T71 MC00011 and was presented in part as
a poster at the 2005 Society of Adolescent Medicine annual meeting in Los Angeles. The
authors thank the Chinese Community Center for the use of its facilities. Most of all, the
authors thank the participating Asian-American adolescents for their honesty. Correspondence
concerning this article should be addressed to May Lau, Division of General Pediatrics,
Department of Pediatrics, UT Southwestern Medical Center, 5323 Harry Hines Boulevard,
Dallas, TX 75390-9063; e-mail: may.lau@utsouthwestern.edu.
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U.S. tends to contradict traditional Asian cultural morés, which view ado-
lescents’ developing interest in the opposite sex as inappropriate (Tang &
Zuo, 2000). Traditionally, Asian parents on average believe that dating
leads to marriage, and it is thus not generally condoned (Kibria, 1993; Tang
& Zuo, 2000). A child’s main responsibility often is viewed as excelling in
academics, with dating viewed as a distraction (Kim & Ward, 2007; Louie,
2004; Nguyen, 1998; Sung, 1985; Yu, 2007). Many Asian adolescents
agree. One study among Hong Kong Chinese adolescents reported that
youth placed greater value on school grades, future education, and career
than on dating and sex (Violato & Kwok, 1995). Taiwanese and Japanese
adolescents spend less time dating, compared to their U.S. peers (Fuligni &
Stevenson, 1995). When dating does occur in Asian youth, the age of onset
usually occurs later. Only one-third of college students in China had dated,
versus two-thirds of college students in the United States, with onset of dat-
ing occurring at a much earlier age in the United States (Tang & Zuo,
2000).
Traditional Asian culture emphasizes chastity, with procreation the only
goal of sexual activity (Brotto, Chik, Ryder, Gorzalka, & Seal, 2005;
Nguyen, 1998). Therefore, it is to be expected that Asians generally possess
more conservative sexual attitudes than peers of other races/ethnicities. In
Hong Kong, Chinese medical students have more conservative sexual atti-
tudes compared to their U.S. peers (Chan, 1990). Gender differences are
also apparent in sexual attitudes, with Asian boys generally having more
liberal sexual attitudes than Asian girls (Chang, Tsang, Lin, & Lui, 1997;
Ip, Chau, Chang, & Lui, 2001).
Acculturation and Adherence to Asian Values
Acculturation is the process by which a racial/ethnic minority individ-
ual’s attitudes and behaviors are affected over time by the culture of a host
country (Abe-Kim, Okazaki, & Goto, 2001). The current dominant para-
digm regarding acculturation is the bi-dimensional model, which maintains
that while an individual sheds the behaviors, values, and practices of their
racial/ethnic culture, acquisition of the equivalent from the host culture also
occurs (Chun, Organista, & Marin, 2003). Acculturation is often measured
by length of residency in host country, primary language spoken at home,
or country of origin (Chun et al., 2003; Felix-Ortiz, Newcomb, & Myers,
1994). Retention of traditional values and behaviors are more uncommon
ways to measure acculturation.
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Many Asian-American parents expect their children to uphold tradi-
tional Asian values, such as elder respect, chastity, obedience, and family
over the individual (Chun et al., 2003). Generally, Western traits such as
individuality, independence, or freedom are not condoned (Nguyen, 1998;
Sung, 1985). As a result, many Asian-American adolescents spend time
navigating between two different, and possibly opposing, cultures (Chun
et al., 2003; Yu, 2007). These adolescents attempt to incorporate values
from two different cultures to maintain their ethnic identity while also try-
ing to create their own identity and to fit in with peers (Phinney, 1989).
Research on cultural values demonstrates that Asian-American adolescents
generally retain aspects of their traditional culture. Asian-American adolescents
place greater emphasis on elder respect and obedience compared to their
European peers (Fuligni, Tseng, & Lam, 1999). In a cross-cultural study by
Feldman, Mont-Reynaud, and Rosenthal (1992), White youth, first- and second-
generation Chinese youth in the U.S. and in Australia, and their peers in Hong
Kong were asked about values in five different areas: well-socialized behavior;
traditional values; universal prosocial (attitudes toward equality and peace);
outward success; and individualism. The cultural environment of the U.S. and
Australia had an influence on the Chinese youth, because these first- and
second-generation Chinese placed less importance on Asian values and
more value on outward success (Feldman, Mont-Reynaud, & Rosenthal,
1992). However, the first- and second-generation Chinese youth still valued
family on average more than their Western counterparts.
Acculturation, Dating, and Sexual Attitudes
Adherence to Asian values may explain behavioral differences that exist
between Asian-Americans and their peers of different race/ethnicities. For
example, Asian-American adolescents engage in dating behaviors at lower
rates and spend less time dating as compared to peers of other races/
ethnicities (Chen & Stevenson, 1995; Reglin & Adams, 1990). Asian-
American adolescents’ sexual attitudes generally become less conservative
with increasing acculturation, as measured by country of origin or accul-
turation scale (Brotto et al., 2005; Chen & Yang, 1986; Huang & Uba, 1992;
Yu, 2007). When compared to their U.S. peers of different races/ethnicities,
Asian-American college students had more restricted sexual attitudes and
initiate physical intimacy later, presumably due to their normative cultural
values (Feldman et al., 1999). Research on the influence of adherence to
Asian values on dating and sexual attitudes is virtually nonexistent.
94 Journal of Adolescent Research
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The purpose of this exploratory, mixed-methods study was to examine
the dating behaviors and sexual attitudes of Asian-American adolescents
and the impact of Asian cultural values on dating and sexual attitudes in
Asian-American adolescents.
Methods
Study Setting
This study was conducted at a Chinese community center in a south-
western city of the United States where Asian-Americans comprise 5% of
the population. The center serves many races/ethnicities including Whites,
African-Americans, and other Asian ethnicities.
Participants and Study Protocol
A convenience sample of youths aged 14 to 18 years old was recruited via
posters and word of mouth at the center’s after-school volunteer program and
Chinese-language school for high school students. It was assumed that high
school youth would be able to comprehend the Asian Values Scale (AVS) as
an eighth-grade reading level was needed to complete it (Kim, Atkinson, &
Yang, 1999). Enrollment in a class with English as a second language and
inability to read at an eighth-grade level were reasons for exclusion from the
study, because the AVS was not translated into Chinese. Parental consent and
subject assent were obtained from all participants.
The study was conducted in two parts. Participants completed an enroll-
ment survey in English lasting approximately 20 minutes and consisting of
open-ended and multiple-choice questions. The enrollment survey was
comprised of sociodemographic questions including age, date of birth,
grade in school, and the AVS. Participants were then scheduled at a later
date for a confidential, tape-recorded individual interview to discuss dating
and sexual attitudes. Depending on responses to the dating questions, par-
ticipants were asked up to 15 questions regarding their dating behaviors.
The sexual attitudes section consisted of six questions. All dating and
sexual attitudes questions developed for the individual interviews were
reviewed by researchers who had experience working with adolescents.
Questions in the dating section were derived from dating research by
Montgomery and Sorell (1998). The dating section included questions
about the participant’s definition of dating, age of first date, and parental
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permission to date. A sample question was: “So a lot of teens are interested
in dating. Are you allowed to go on dates?” Sexual attitudes questions were
based on the work of Hansen, Paskett, and Carter in their development of
the Adolescent Sexuality Activity Index (Hansen, Paskett, & Carter, 1999).
The sexual attitudes section included questions about personal timelines for
physical intimacy in relation to number of dates. A sample question was:
“How many dates would you have to go out with someone to kiss him/her?”
Each study participant was interviewed for approximately 20 minutes in a
quiet room specifically designated for the study at the center. The inter-
viewer provided probes so that participants could clarify and expand
answers when needed. Dating and sexual attitudes topics that were brought
up in earlier interviews were included in subsequent interviews of the
remaining adolescents. All interviews were conducted by the first author to
ensure consistency. Participants were compensated for their time with two
movie tickets. This study was approved by the Chinese community center,
the Institutional Review Board of Baylor College of Medicine, and the
Committee for Protection of Human Subjects of the University of Texas
Health Science Center Houston–School of Public Health.
Measures
The AVS uses a modified Likert-type scale in which 1 = strongly dis-
agree,2 = moderately disagree,3 = mildly disagree,4 = neither agree nor
disagree,5 = mildly agree,6 = moderately agree,7 = strongly agree. Scores
were based on responses to 36 statements written at a middle school read-
ing level (Kim et al., 1999). Asians from different Asian countries prescribe
to and commonly define the six Asian cultural values themes examined in
the AVS (Kim, Yang, Atkinson, Wolfe, & Hong, 2001). The six Asian cul-
tural values themes explored were:
1. Collectivism, which emphasizes the needs of the group over the individual
and that an individual’s success is a reflection of the family’s success;
2. Conformity to norms, which focuses on the importance of adherence to
familial and societal expectations and not disgracing the family;
3. Emotional self-control, which deals with the ability to not show one’s
emotions and to express parental love;
4. Family recognition through achievement, which stresses academic
achievement;
5. Filial piety, which describes respecting parents and caring for them when
they become older;
6. Humility, which addresses the importance of being humble and modesty.
96 Journal of Adolescent Research
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Each statement in the scale reflected one of the above themes. Positively
and negatively worded items were included, with the negative items being
reverse scored. For a positively worded statement, such as “One should be
humble and modest,” a subject’s actual numerical rating of the statement
was used to calculate the total score. For a negatively worded statement, such
as, “Educational failure does not bring shame to the family,” a subject’s
numerical rating of 1 was reverse scored to 7. The AVS also has been used in
several studies to assess values in immigrant, first-, and second-generation
Asian-American college and high school students (Hynie, Lalonde, & Lee,
2006; Kim et al., 2001; Kim & Omizo, 2003).
Using the AVS as a continuous scale, scores for level of adherence to
Asian values can range from 36 to 252; those with lower scores demon-
strate a lower adherence to Asian values, whereas those with higher scores
demonstrate a higher adherence (B. Kim, personal communication,
December 9, 2004). Internal consistency of the AVS was determined to be
.81, as measured in Asian-American college students 18 to 38 years old
with a mean age of 20.4 years (Kim et al., 1999). Cronbach’s alpha and
test–retest reliability for this AVS range from .81 to .83 in Asian-American
college students (Kim et al., 1999). Cronbach’s alpha for the AVS for our
study population was .79.
Analyses
Descriptive statistics were used to summarize sociodemographic data,
including age, gender, and race/ethnicity. All audiotapes from the individual
interviews were transcribed verbatim. The first author coded and analyzed the
transcripts for content and recurring themes regarding dating behaviors and
sexual attitudes. These themes were constantly compared to refine them
(Glaser, 1965). The codes from one transcript were compared to codes of other
transcripts to identify similarities and differences in relation to gender and
level of adherence to Asian values. The second author reviewed a 20% sample
of the transcripts to provide consistency in generation of codes and themes by
the first author and to make recommendations for any necessary amendments.
Once these themes were identified, all transcripts were reviewed to detect
presence or absence of the various themes. Frequencies of themes were cal-
culated according to gender. Examination of themes by level of acculturation
was conducted by comparing transcripts sequentially from lowest to highest
AVS scores (i.e., from low to high adherence to Asian values), both for the
overall sample and separately by gender. Sample quotes were selected for each
theme that reflected the range of responses.
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Due to the small number of subjects and the unknown distributions of
many variables, the Kruskal–Wallis test was used to analyze the relation-
ship between the continuous variable (AVS score) and categorical variables
(dating behaviors and sexual attitudes). Clustering of the AVS scores and
the small sample size were the basis for examining the extreme categories
of data to determine if a relationship existed between AVS scores, dating,
and sexual attitudes. Linear correlation coefficients were used to determine
if a relationship existed between AVS scores and sexual attitudes. The chi-
square test was used to compare gender differences.
Results
Participant Recruitment
Fifty-two youth were interested in participating in the study, and 31
youths completed the entire study (Figure 1). The most common reason for
non-participation was the time commitment and/or lack of interest in dis-
cussing dating and sexual attitudes. Other reasons included not being
allowed to date, and not being interested in participating after further study
details were revealed. Six youths who finished the enrollment survey did
not complete the confidential interview because of scheduling difficulties
and/or parents withdrawing consent to participate in the study.
Sociodemographic Characteristics
The median age of the participants was 17 years; 58% were male (Table 1).
Most youth were of Chinese descent, either in the 11th or 12th grade, born
in the U.S. and the youngest in the family. These adolescents mostly
befriended other Asian-Americans.
Dating Behaviors of Participants
Most participants had dated, and the mean age of dating initiation was
13.9 years (Table 2). Almost two thirds of the group had parental permis-
sion to date including two thirds of boys and more than half of girls. More
than two thirds (70%) dated without parental knowledge. Among adoles-
cents without parental dating permission, 92% dated without parental
knowledge. Among adolescents with explicit parental dating permission,
98 Journal of Adolescent Research
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more than half dated without parental knowledge. There was no significant
difference in the proportion of adolescents with and without dating permis-
sion who were currently in a relationship. Dating partners were met via
school, extracurricular activities, or friends. The primary method used to
invite someone on a date was in person, although about one quarter used the
phone; notes and instant messaging were less common methods. There was
a nonstatistically significant trend toward boys being more likely to be the
main inviters for dates (p = .052). No significant gender differences existed
in any other dating behavior.
AVS scores for the study population ranged from 109 to 206; the mean
score was 155.1 (± SD 20.7), and the median score, 152. For boys, the mean
score was 152.7 (± SD 17.6) with a range of 109 to 176 and a median score
of 154.5. For girls, the mean score was 158.3 (± SD 24.7) with a range of
127 to 206 and a median of 151. No significant gender difference in AVS
scores were noted by relationship status, age of dating onset, or parental
knowledge of dating category.
Lau et al. / Dating and Sexual Attitudes in Asian-American Adolescents 99
31 completed
study
19 had
permission
to date
12 did not
have
permission
to date
10 dated
without
parental
knowledge
9 dated with
parental
knowledge
11 dated
without
parental
knowledge
1 youth did not
date without
parental
knowledge
21 did not
participate/
complete
study
6 did not
complete
confidential
interview
15 did not
like study
topic or time
commitment
52 youths
approached
Figure 1
Flow Diagram—Sampling Frame and Number of
Asian-American Youth Dating With Parental Permission
and/or Parental Knowledge
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AVS Scores and Dating/Sexual Attitudes
Analysis of the entire study population demonstrated that no correlation
existed between AVS scores and dating behaviors or sexual attitudes.
Additional statistical analysis was performed due to clustering of the AVS
scores at the extremes. These additional analyses revealed that adolescents
with the highest AVS scores were significantly more likely to date without
parental knowledge than those with the lowest scores (p < .05; Table 3).
These adolescents were more likely to meet their partners through friends and
less likely to meet their partners through extracurricular activities (p < .05),
and they were more likely to invite someone on a date via phone (p < .05).
100 Journal of Adolescent Research
Table 1
Sociodemographic Characteristics of Study Adolescents (n
==
31)
Characteristic Median or %
Age 17.0
Gender
Male 58.0%
Female 41.9%
Race/ethnicity
Chinese 67.7%
Taiwanese 22.6%
Vietnamese 6.5%
Biracial 3.2%
Grade
9th 12.9%
10th 19.4%
11th 25.8%
12th 29.0%
13th 12.9%
Place of birth
Texas 77.4%
In the U.S. but outside of Texas 19.4%
China 3.2%
Birth order in family
Only 9.7%
Eldest 32.3%
Youngest 58.1%
Most friends’ race/ethnicity
Asian 83.9%
White 3.2%
African American 3.2%
Mixed 6.5%
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Adolescents with the highest AVS scores were significantly more likely
to state sexual intercourse was appropriate after a longer period of dating
(p < .05); this relationship was not seen with other physically intimate behav-
iors (holding hands, kissing, cuddling, necking, and touching underneath
clothing). Almost half of adolescents believed sexual intercourse could take
place after dating for one year or less.
Qualitative Results
Dating definitions. Several terms were used to define different dating
stages. Some terms had only one definition, whereas others had multiple
definitions. “Talking to” was used to describe the period of time to become
Lau et al. / Dating and Sexual Attitudes in Asian-American Adolescents 101
Table 2
Dating Behavior Characteristics of Study Adolescents (n
==
31)
a
Characteristic Total Male Female
Has dating experience 93.5% 88.9% 100%
Has parental dating permission 61.3% 66.7% 53.9%
Dates without parental knowledge 70.0% 70.6% 69.2%
With parental dating permission 52.4% 63.6% 42.9%
Without parental dating permission 47.6% 83.3% 100%
Mean age of dating initiation, median 13.9 (13) 13.9 (13) 13.9 (14)
Mean number of lifetime dating partners, median 3.7 (3) 4.0 (2.5) 3.3 (3)
Currently in a relationship 41.9% 38.9% 46.2%
With parental dating permission 42.1% 41.7% 42.9%
Without parental dating permission 41.7% 33.3% 50.0%
Met partners through
Friends 27.6% 16.7% 38.5%
School 37.8% 33.3% 38.5%
Extracurricular activities 34.5% 38.9% 23.1%
Asked someone on a date 44.8% 72.2% 0%
Method of date invitation
Person 53.6% 38.9% 61.5%
Phone 28.6% 33.3% 15.4%
Notes 7.1% 0% 15.4%
Instant message 10.7% 11.1% 7.7%
Partner race/ethnicity
Asian 86.2% 77.8% 84.6%
Hispanic 3.4% 5.6% 0%
African 3.4% 0% 7.7%
White 6.9% 5.6% 7.7%
a
There were no significant differences in dating behaviors between boys and girls.
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acquainted with someone of interest and was defined in this manner by a
16-year-old girl:
Because, when you are friends and then you go to talking, and that is like an
extended period of time, and it’s just that you acknowledge that you two like
each other, but you don’t want to do anything, yet, I guess, be more com-
mitted to each other. So you just talk to each other every day, and it’s a little
more intimate than being friends, and then after whatever given amount of
time, whenever you guys are comfortable with each other, then you guys just
go out.
102 Journal of Adolescent Research
Table 3
Dating Behavior Characteristics of Study Adolescents
With the Highest and Lowest AVS Scores
Highest AVS Lowest AVS
Scorers Scorers
Characteristic (n = 6) (n = 6) p
a
Dating without parental knowledge 100% 50% <.05
Without parental dating permission 16.7% 33.3% ns
Met partner through
Friends 83.3% 0% <.01
School 16.7% 33.3% ns
Extracurricular activities 0% 66.7% .01
Method of date invitation
Phone 50% 0% <.05
Person 33.3% 66.7% ns
Notes 16.7% 0% ns
Instant message 0% 0% ns
Have dating experience 100% 83.3% ns
Have parental dating permission 16.7% 66.7% ns
Average age of dating initiation 14.5 (1.38) 13.8 (1.30) ns
Average number of lifetime dating partners 3.83 (2.86) 3.83 (3.19) ns
Currently in a relationship 33.3% 66.7% ns
With parental dating permission 0% 50% ns
Without parental dating permission 40% 100% ns
Partner ethnicity
Asian 66.7% 83.3% ns
Hispanic 0% 0% ns
African American 0% 0% ns
White 33.3% 0.0% ns
a
For comparison between adolescents with the highest and lowest AVS scores.
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A 16-year-old boy described “talking to” in this fashion:
Because talking is like the process of just before, where you just get to know
each other better, so you don’t just leap into something that you all are just
not ready for. So you get to know them better, so y’all can make the decision,
do y’all want to go out or you don’t want to go out.
“Holla at” or “Holler at” were terms mainly used by boys and had a sev-
eral definitions. For one 17-year-old boy, “holla at” meant “taking her out and
talk to her on the phone, probably 7, 8 hours a day until the next day.” Another
16-year-old boy described “holla at” as, “I think you want to go out with the
girl, no talking, just you want to go with a girl.” An additional definition by
another 16-year-old boy was: “It is like you want to holler at that girl, you
want to get her to get interested in you.” According to a 14-year-old girl, it
had nothing to do with dating, but rather “’I’ll holler at you later,’” meant
“’I’ll call you later and I’ll talk to you later.’” “Hooking up” was a term used
to describe connecting two people together, the casual or serious part of a dat-
ing relationship or sexual intercourse. “Seeing each other” referred to the
process of getting to know someone by going out on dates. “Dating” covered
the spectrum of a relationship, from the start of a dating relationship to some-
one being involved in a serious relationship. “Going out” described an exclu-
sive relationship in which labels such as boyfriend and girlfriend were used.
Interestingly, this term was also used to describe a relationship once the indi-
viduals involved had set up an actual date. A recurrent theme articulated by
Asian-American teens was that they did not date like their peers of other
races/ethnicities but started by “talking to” someone and then proceeded
directly to “going out.” Intermediate stages were skipped, such as going on
dates to determine whether to go out with each other exclusively. Once asked
out on a date, several girls considered themselves automatically in an exclu-
sive relationship. A 16-year-old girl explained:
I don’t think Asian people have a “dating.” We, like I’ve never dated. It’s
more like you have this period where both of you know it and you like each
other and I guess talking and then there’s just going out. But that’s not dat-
ing. It’s just, oh, you guys are together.
For dating, you know that you guys like each other and that’s why you go
out on a date so you get to know each other more, but with us, it’s like . . .
because some of us have more strict parents, it’s just that you talk to each
other, like talking, and you just get to know them better, but you don’t go out
to do that. After whatever period of time you guys want to be boyfriend and
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girlfriend, then you are boyfriend and girlfriend. So there’s no talking, dating,
then boyfriend and girlfriend. It’s just talking, then boyfriend and girlfriend.
A 17-year-old boy agreed: “Asian people think the only way to be going
out on a date with a person is if they have to actually be boyfriend and girl-
friend before you can go out on a date.”
Dating and education. The relationship between dating and education
was not a focus of this study, but was a recurring theme. Many adolescents
reported that their parents emphasized education over dating. Some partic-
ipants were allowed to date as long as their grades were maintained. A 14-
year-old girl described her parents’ view on dating: “Well, my parents have
never really talked about it, but basically the rule is that I technically can,
to a point, until my grades get in the way.” A 17-year-old boy stated: “I
don’t think they really cared, as long as I did my schoolwork.”
One 18-year-old girl stated that her parents did not know the seriousness
of her relationship with her boyfriend because she felt her parents would
blame him if she did poorly in school:
They know I have a guy that I spend a lot of time with, but I don’t think they
really know how serious it is, because I really don’t want them to know,
because if something ever happened with me in school, if I failed a class, I
know that they would blame him, even though it would probably be my fault
because he is really supportive and it’s not like I am always with him, but
they would think that. They would think that he is a bad influence on me.
A 16-year-old boy remarked:
Well if I’m too involved with a girl, I would probably think of her during
class and I wouldn’t pay attention. I would get off the subject and my school-
work would get a lot worse. It has happened before.
Dating and parental permission. Many adolescents went out on dates
even though they did not have explicit parental permission. Discussion
regarding dating rarely occurred between parents and adolescents. For one
16-year-old boy who did not have parental permission to date but dated
without parental knowledge, the ground rules for his friendships with girls
were set by his parents. His parents told him:
You are allowed to have friends that are girls, but you are not allowed to go
out until you graduate college or until you are from 25 to 30ish. You cannot
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talk to any girls. I mean you can talk to girls, they can be your friends, but
they can never be more than that.
An 18-year-old boy described confusion about parental permission to date:
I am not sure anymore because it’s like, at first, it was like, you know, my
parents were like, not until you get into college or whatever, but then like I
had girlfriends in high school and it became pretty obvious and they didn’t
say anything, so I don’t know.
Some adolescents did go on dates, although their parents may not have
acknowledged it. One 19-year-old girl stated: “Well, according to them, it
was not dating. It was me hanging out with friends. I mean, they met the
people and they were just, ‘Okay, go have fun with your friend.’”
Adolescents with and without parental permission to date dated without
parental knowledge. These adolescents told their parents that they were going
out with friends. One 16-year-old girl said: “but for Asians, it’s harder, because
your parents never know about it. And you say you’re going out with friends,
but instead you are going out with a guy.” These friends usually knew the ado-
lescent was on a date. For both genders, telling parents that they were out with
friends permitted them to stay out later. According to one 17-year-old boy:
Well, you use friends as an excuse. You say, “Oh, my friend’s birthday is
today.” When your parents know that it’s his friend’s birthday, he’ll probably
stay out a little bit late. He’ll let us know. And then you use your friends and
tell them just cover for me and I got your back the next time you need me, so
it’s a mutual helping I guess.
An 18-year-old girl stated her mother would be more concerned if she
was out late with a guy instead of her friends:
If I was with my friends, like my good female friends, like 12 or something,
because we were just like, “Oh, we were just watching a movie. It’s no big
deal.” But if I say, “Oh I was out with him until 12” . . . she would be angry.
She would yell at me.
Reasons for dating. The reasons for dating varied. Dating was a means
of entertainment for many Asian adolescents and provided experience and
preparation for a future serious relationship. One 16-year-old girl declared:
“Well, in middle school or high school it is practice or for fun. But I guess
in college and beyond you are doing it to find true love.”
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Many adolescents wanted to be similar to their peers who were involved
in relationships. A 15-year-old girl stated she wanted to date because “it’s
more like a everybody else does it kind of thing.” As one 17-year-old boy
clarified:
I am raised in a Chinese family in which people believe that you are supposed
to have a career at first before you start dating, but when you are raised here after
like, it’s kind of hard not to do the things that kids here do like date. My parents
think that I should wait until I get a good education and then start dating.
A 15-year-old girl agreed:
I want to date because I think it goes along with peer pressure, like everyone
has someone and when you don’t have someone, you just would like some-
one and then the whole purpose of dating would be to find that someone.
Besides being able to have a confidant, a few individuals expressed dat-
ing as a means to boost one’s reputation. A 17-year-old boy explained:
Let’s say I date a really beautiful girl and I walk around and another boy
comes around and says, ‘Is that your girlfriend?’ I’ll be, ‘Yeah, that’s my girl-
friend.’ It makes you feel kind of like, ‘Yeah, I’m the man and I did that.’
However, female adolescents were also not immune to the effect of dat-
ing on their reputation. A 17-year-old girl explained her reason for dating:
Just always having someone to go with. Kind of like a show-off thing. Like
at school, all the guys at my school are really ugly, so we usually date out-
side of school and then it’s kind of like my boyfriend is better than yours or
my boyfriend has a nicer car or something.
Timelines for Intimacy
As the level of physical intimacy increased in a relationship, the period
of time in a dating relationship before engaging in that behavior generally
increased. For holding hands with a romantic interest, the appropriate time-
line ranged from prior to the start of dating to one year. Kissing, cuddling,
and necking (kissing someone for an extended period of time on the face
and neck) timelines extended from prior to the start of dating to one year.
For more intimate physical behaviors, such as touching and sexual activity,
the timelines spanned from prior to the start of dating to marriage. One
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adolescent noted that this concept of physical intimacy prior to a dating
relationship is reinforced by peer behavior: “Because I just see it, like
friends just do it, because they want to and they are really close friends, but
they are not really dating or something.”
One adolescent stated that she had changed her perspective after engag-
ing in sexual intercourse:
Before, I never thought that it was a big deal, but now I think you should
really wait until you are married, because if you really care about someone
then it shouldn’t matter like having to wait.
. . . that is also something that I cannot tell my parents and I’d feel more com-
fortable if they knew what was going on because they are really easy on me.
They will let me go out and they have met my boyfriends and stuff like that,
but that is something that I can’t tell them, so that tells me that it’s not right.
Adolescents stated that their peers, regardless of their race/ethnicity, did
not take physical intimacy and sexual intercourse seriously, viewing it as a
“sport” or a means to improve one’s social status. One 17-year-old boy said:
Well, they will have intimate times. They will have sex. They will get preg-
nant and then they will ruin their whole life. That’s what I mean, taking
things out of hand and getting pregnant before you get your education, you
ruin your whole life right there, and having sex . . . You are still a minor when
you try to do these things and when you are kind of ignorant at times when
you do things like that.
This same 17-year-old boy eloquently summarized Asian-American
adolescents’ dating behaviors and sexual attitudes:
So, don’t think that Asian kids are those innocent little school kids who stay
home, don’t date, does homework everyday, sleeps at 9:00, and wakes up at
6:00 and don’t do those dumb things. We are the typical kids, as most kids are.
Discussion
The study findings revealed that 70% of Asian-American adolescents
dated without parental knowledge. This is the first study, to our knowledge,
to examine this issue in Asian-Americans adolescents. Dating without
parental knowledge among adolescents in general has been examined in
few studies (Nguyen, 1998; Wright, 1982). Before obtaining parental
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permission to date, 30% of all high school seniors surveyed dated without
parental knowledge in one study (Wright, 1982). Another study revealed
that some Vietnamese-American young adults dated without parental
knowledge to date partners who did not meet their parents’ approval
(Nguyen, 1998). Dating without parental knowledge has been associated
with high-risk behaviors, including delinquency and drug use (Wright,
1982). These results suggest the importance of carefully questioning Asian-
American adolescents about dating without parental knowledge and their
participation in other high-risk behaviors.
A key theme identified in the interviews was the relationship of dating
to education. The emphasis on education, with dating seen as interference,
correlates with traditional normative cultural Asian values (Kim & Ward,
2007; Louie, 2004; Nguyen, 1998; Sung, 1985; Yu, 2007). Adolescent dat-
ing has been associated with lower academic achievement (Quatman et al.,
2001). To our knowledge, however, no previous studies have documented
that Asian-American parents frequently avoid acknowledging or discussing
their children’s dating, as long as their children maintain their grades.
Parents’ silent acceptance of dating could be due to understanding their
children’s desire to be like their peers, or possibly their own changes in
retention of Asian values. One study demonstrated Asian-American parents
strongly endorse traditional values but permit certain Western adolescent
behaviors, such as when and whom to date (Nguyen & Williams, 1989). If
Asian-American parents frequently fail to acknowledge adolescent dating,
is it possible that they may fail to acknowledge other activities, such as drug
or underage alcohol use, if their children are able to maintain high levels of
academic achievement? Clearly, further research is needed in this area.
The dating sequence for many adolescents in this group did not follow
the usual U.S. pattern (Furman & Wehner, 1994; McCabe, 1984). Many
adolescents bypassed casual dating and directly entered a single, steady
relationship. Asian-American adolescents noticed that their dating behavior
differed from peers. To our knowledge, this is the first published account of
this type of dating sequence in Asian-American adolescents. Their imme-
diate progression to serious dating may reflect traditional normative Asian
cultural views that when dating is permitted, it is a serious matter (Kibria,
1993). Involvement in a serious relationship has been shown to be associ-
ated with the earlier onset of sexual activity (Cooksey et al., 2002; Davies
& Windle, 2000; Miller, McCoy, & Olson, 1986; Thornton, 1990). Since
Asian-American adolescents often proceed directly from talking to a part-
ner to a single steady relationship, counseling Asian-American adolescents
about the risks of sexual activity and prevention of sexually transmitted
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diseases and pregnancy may need to occur prior to the onset of a dating
relationship.
Adolescents with the highest AVS scores were significantly more likely
than those with the lowest scores to date without parental knowledge and
believe sexual intercourse could only occur after a longer period of dating.
Prior research on adherence to Asian values and dating, let alone dating
without parental knowledge, is nonexistent. Our finding of adolescents with
the highest AVS scores dating without parental knowledge is noteworthy.
The association of the highest AVS scores and delayed sexual debut during
dating among Asian-American adolescents is consistent with the large body
of research demonstrating a positive relationship between acculturation and
sexual attitudes in immigrant and American-, Canadian-, or British-born
Asian adolescents (Brotto et al., 2005; Chen & Yang, 1986; Huang & Uba,
1992; Meston, Trapnell, & Gorzalka, 1998). Our study’s findings suggest
that clinicians should ask Asian-American adolescents about their dating
practices, especially dating without parental knowledge. Although these
Asian-American adolescents are more likely to believe sexual intercourse
should occur after longer periods of dating, they should be counseled on
safe sexual practices as many Asian-American adolescents proceed directly
to a single steady relationship, and steady dating has been associated with
the earlier onset of sexual activity (Cooksey et al., 2002; Davies & Windle,
2000; Miller, McCoy, & Olson, 1986; Thornton, 1990).
Several study limitations should be noted. Although 52 youths were
approached about participating in the study, only 31 actually completed the
study. To identify a significant difference between two groups (for example,
adolescents who dated with permission and adolescents who dated without
permission), at least 88 participants (44 for each groups) were needed for
this study. This sample size limitation could account for the lack of signifi-
cant association between AVS scores and several dating behaviors/sexual
attitudes. This study did not examine whether adolescents were first-, second-,
or third-generation Asian-Americans. Participants were recruited from one
Chinese community center, and thus the study population may not be repre-
sentative of all youth who attended the community center or its surround-
ing community. Excluding participation of adolescents enrolled in an English
as a Second Language program or who read below an eighth-grade level
may have affected the results of the study by excluding youths who may
have scored higher on the AVS.
In conclusion, the study findings reveal that Asian-American adoles-
cents frequently date without parental knowledge and parental permission.
Adolescents with the highest AVS scores were most likely to date without
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parental knowledge and believe sexual intercourse should occur after a
longer period of dating. Asian-American adolescents also frequently
reported that their parents secretly permit adolescents to date, as long as it
does not interfere with academics. Asian-American adolescents’ dating pro-
gression often differs by skipping intermediate stages and proceeding to a
single steady relationship. Asian-American adolescents should be carefully
questioned by their healthcare providers about dating practices, especially
proceeding to a single steady dating relationship, in order to target risk-
reduction counseling regarding onset of sexual activity. These study find-
ings could aid clinicians in identifying adolescents at risk of engaging in
high-risk behaviors by virtue of their current dating behaviors, and target-
ing such at-risk adolescents for early risk-reduction counseling.
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May Lau, MD, MPH, is an assistant professor in the Division of General Pediatrics at the
University of Texas Southwestern Medical Center and an adolescent medicine specialist at
Children’s Medical Center, both in Dallas, Texas. Her research interests include racial/ethnic
and reproductive health issues.
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Christine Markham, PhD, is deputy director of the University of Texas Prevention Research
Center and assistant professor of Health Promotion and Behavioral Sciences at the University
of Texas School of Public Health in Houston, Texas. She has more than 15 years of experience
in adolescent sexual and reproductive health.
Hua Lin, PhD, is a biostatistical consultant in the Division of General Pediatrics at the
University of Texas Southwestern Medical Center. Her PhD is in health economics, and her
research interest is in racial disparities in health status and care.
Glenn Flores, MD, is professor of pediatrics and public health, director of the Division of
General Pediatrics, the Judith and Charles Ginsburg Chair in Pediatrics, and the director of the
Academic General Pediatrics Fellowship at the University of Texas Southwestern Medical
Center and Children’s Medical Center, both in Dallas, Texas. His research interests include
racial/ethnic disparities in children’s health and health care, community-based interventions
for improving the health and healthcare of underserved children, insuring uninsured children,
testing innovative interventions for chronic disease management, and linguistic and cultural
issues in healthcare.
Mariam R. Chacko, MD, is medical director of the Baylor Teen Health Clinics and profes-
sor of pediatrics in the Section of Adolescent Medicine & Sports Medicine, Baylor College of
Medicine, Houston, Texas. She has 24 years of clinical and research experience in adolescents
and young adult reproductive health issues.
Lau et al. / Dating and Sexual Attitudes in Asian-American Adolescents 113
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