Separating Narcissism From Self-Esteem

Abstract

Narcissism is a personality trait characterized by a sense of superiority and a desire for respect and admiration from others. A common belief, both in psychology and in popular culture, is that narcissism represents a form of excessive self-esteem. Psychologists, including ourselves, have labeled narcissism as “an exaggerated form of high self-esteem,” “inflated self-esteem,” and “defensive high self-esteem.” We review research that challenges this belief by showing that narcissism differs markedly from self-esteem in its phenotype, its consequences, its development, and its origins. Drawing on emerging developmental-psychological evidence, we propose a distinction between narcissism and self-esteem that is based on the divergent socialization experiences that give rise to them. This proposal clarifies previous findings, stimulates theory development, and creates opportunities for intervention to concurrently raise self-esteem and curtail narcissism from an early age.

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Current Directions in Psychological
Science
2016, Vol. 25(1) 8 –13
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DOI: 10.1177/0963721415619737
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The mythological figure Narcissus was a handsome, self-
aggrandizing, and vain young man who fell in love with
his own reflection in a body of water. He was unable to
take his eyes off of himself and slowly pined away at the
waterside. Psychologists have come to know personali-
ties like his as narcissistic. A common belief, both in
psychology and in popular culture, is that narcissism rep-
resents a form of excessive self-esteem. Psychologists,
including ourselves, have labeled narcissism as “an exag-
gerated form of high self-esteem,” “inflated self-esteem,”
and “defensive high self-esteem.” The media have por-
trayed narcissists as individuals whose self-esteem is “too
high” or “on steroids.” This belief presumably arose from
early psychoanalytic work, which used the terms narcis-
sism and high self-esteem interchangeably (Pulver,
1970/1986).
In this article, we challenge the belief that narcissism
represents a form of excessive self-esteem. We review
accumulating evidence showing that narcissism differs
markedly from self-esteem in its phenotype, its conse-
quences, its development, and its origins. What draws the
line between narcissism and self-esteem, we argue, is the
socialization experiences that give rise to them: Narcissism
and self-esteem may be rooted in seemingly similar yet
actually distinct perceptions of regard from others. This
proposal clarifies previous findings, stimulates theory
development, and creates opportunities for intervention to
concurrently raise self-esteem and curtail narcissism from
an early age.
Narcissism Versus Self-Esteem
Phenotype
Although well publicized for its extreme form as Narcis-
sistic Personality Disorder, narcissism is a subclinical per-
sonality trait on which individuals from the general
population vary from one another. Narcissists (i.e., those
scoring high on narcissism scales) feel superior to others,
believe they are entitled to privileges, and crave respect
and admiration from others. They are certain that the
world would be a much better place if they ruled it. We
focus on prototypical narcissists: the grandiose types
619737CDPXXX10.1177/0963721415619737Brummelman et al.Narcissism and Self-Esteem
research-article2015
Corresponding Author:
Eddie Brummelman, Research Institute of Child Development and
Education, University of Amsterdam, P.O. Box 15780, 1001 NG
Amsterdam, The Netherlands
E-mail: e.brummelman@uva.nl
Separating Narcissism From Self-Esteem
Eddie Brummelman1, Sander Thomaes2,3, and
Constantine Sedikides2
1Research Institute of Child Development and Education, University of Amsterdam;
2Center for Research on Self and Identity, School of Psychology, University of
Southampton; and 3Department of Psychology, Utrecht University
Abstract
Narcissism is a personality trait characterized by a sense of superiority and a desire for respect and admiration from
others. A common belief, both in psychology and in popular culture, is that narcissism represents a form of excessive
self-esteem. Psychologists, including ourselves, have labeled narcissism as “an exaggerated form of high self-esteem,”
“inflated self-esteem,” and “defensive high self-esteem.” We review research that challenges this belief by showing
that narcissism differs markedly from self-esteem in its phenotype, its consequences, its development, and its origins.
Drawing on emerging developmental-psychological evidence, we propose a distinction between narcissism and self-
esteem that is based on the divergent socialization experiences that give rise to them. This proposal clarifies previous
findings, stimulates theory development, and creates opportunities for intervention to concurrently raise self-esteem
and curtail narcissism from an early age.
Keywords
narcissism, self-esteem, development, socialization, intervention
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Narcissism and Self-Esteem 9
who feel superior to others on agentic traits (e.g., compe-
tence, intelligence, uniqueness) rather than on commu-
nal traits (e.g., kindness, helpfulness, warmth; Campbell,
Rudich, & Sedikides, 2002; for research on less prototypi-
cal, vulnerable narcissists, see Cain, Pincus, & Ansell,
2008). By contrast, high self-esteemers (i.e., those scoring
high on self-esteem scales) feel satisfied with themselves
as a person but do not necessarily feel superior to others.
As Rosenberg (1965) noted, “When we deal with self-
esteem, we are asking whether the individual considers
himself adequate—a person of worth—not whether he
considers himself superior to others” (p. 62).
Thus, narcissism and self-esteem both entail positive
views of the self, but these views are qualitatively differ-
ent. Consistent with their distinct phenotypes, narcissism
and self-esteem are only weakly to moderately correlated
(Campbell et al., 2002; Thomaes & Brummelman, 2016).
Indeed, many narcissists do not have high self-esteem.
They see themselves as decidedly better than their fellow
humans, but they are not happy with themselves.1 Con-
versely, many high self-esteemers are not narcissistic.
They value themselves, but they shy away from seeing
themselves as better than others.
Consequences
Disparities between narcissism and self-esteem often
emerge in the social realm. Narcissists do not have a
burning desire to establish deep, intimate bonds with
others; rather, they strive to surpass others, to dominate
others, and to use others to attain social status (Campbell
et al., 2002). They aspire to get ahead rather than to get
along. When they receive the respect and admiration
they crave, narcissists feel on top of the world, but when
they don’t, they feel like sinking into the ground (Tracy,
Cheng, Robins, & Trzesniewski, 2009). Narcissists often
externalize these feelings of shame by lashing out
aggressively (Bushman & Baumeister, 1998; Thomaes,
Bushman, Stegge, & Olthof, 2008). The so-called narcis-
sistic rage turns the feeling “I am bad” into “You are bad.”
Narcissists also commit more delinquent acts than their
non-narcissistic counterparts (Barry, Grafeman, Adler, &
Pickard, 2007). In sharp contrast, high self-esteemers do
not wish to surpass others, to dominate others, or to use
others for their own good; rather, they desire to establish
deep, intimate bonds with others (Campbell et al., 2002).
They aspire to get along rather than to get ahead. They
also do not typically explode in aggressive outbursts and
are unlikely to commit delinquent acts (Donnellan,
Trzesniewski, Robins, Moffitt, & Caspi, 2005).
Wouldn’t it at least feel good to be a narcissist?
Perhaps it would. Narcissism is associated with subjec-
tive well-being, such as happiness and low levels of
depression, anxiety, and loneliness. However, these
associations are fully accounted for by self-esteem (Orth,
Robins, Meier, & Conger, 2015; Sedikides, Rudich, Gregg,
Kumashiro, & Rusbult, 2004). Thus, narcissism benefits
subjective well-being only insofar as it is associated with
high self-esteem.
Development
Narcissism and self-esteem first emerge in late childhood,
from about age 7 (Thomaes, Stegge, Bushman, Olthof, &
Denissen, 2008). At that age, children have fully acquired
the cognitive capacities to form global self-evaluations
(Harter, 2012), which underlie narcissism and self-esteem.
Also, children this age readily use social comparisons to
evaluate themselves (Harter, 2012), enabling narcissistic
self-views such as “I am special” (“—and more special
than everyone else!”). Although narcissism and self-
esteem manifest at the same age, they diverge in their
normative developmental trajectories. Narcissism peaks
in adolescence and then gradually decreases throughout
adulthood (Foster, Campbell, & Twenge, 2003). By con-
trast, self-esteem reaches its lowest point in adolescence
and then gradually increases throughout adulthood
(Robins, Trzesniewski, Tracy, Gosling, & Potter, 2002).
Thus, over the life course, narcissism rises when self-
esteem falls, and vice versa.
Origins
Narcissism and self-esteem are moderately heritable
(Neiss, Sedikides, & Stevenson, 2002; Vernon, Villani,
Vickers, & Harris, 2008). Yet they are shaped by markedly
distinct socialization experiences. Although several stud-
ies have addressed this topic, most of them were cross-
sectional and relied on adults’ recollections of their
childhood socialization experiences (for overviews, see
Horton, 2011; Thomaes & Brummelman, 2016). People
often misremember their experiences, especially child-
hood experiences. Overcoming these limitations, a recent
study followed 565 children and their parents prospec-
tively over four measurement waves (Brummelman,
Thomaes, Nelemans, Orobio de Castro, Overbeek, &
Bushman, 2015a). Narcissism was nurtured by parental
overvaluation—how much parents saw their child as a
special individual entitled to privileges. Overvaluing par-
ents overclaim their child’s knowledge, overestimate their
child’s IQ, and overpraise their child’s performances,
while directing their child to stand out from others by giv-
ing him or her an uncommon first name (Brummelman,
Thomaes, Nelemans, Orobio de Castro, & Bushman,
2015). Over time, this socialization practice may lead chil-
dren to internalize the view of themselves as superior
individuals, which is at the core of narcissism. By contrast,
self-esteem was nurtured by parental warmth—how
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10 Brummelman et al.
much parents treated their child with affection and appre-
ciation. Warm parents express fondness for their child,
share positive affect with their child, and foster in their
child the feeling that he or she matters. Over time, this
socialization practice may lead children to internalize the
view of themselves as worthy individuals, which is at the
core of self-esteem.
What Underlies Narcissism and
Self-Esteem?
Knowledge of the origins of narcissism and self-esteem
provides insight into their similarities and differences.
Symbolic interactionism holds that children come to see
themselves as they believe they are seen by significant
others (Harter, 2012). Consistent with this view, narcis-
sism and self-esteem are similar in that they arise, in part,
from the internalization of regard from significant others.
They are different, however, in that they arise from dis-
tinct forms of regard—parental overvaluation versus
parental warmth. Experiences of overvaluation may lead
to the core belief underlying narcissism: “I am superior to
others.” Experiences of warmth may lead to the core
belief underlying self-esteem: “I am worthy.”
Thus, narcissism and self-esteem may represent dis-
tinct perceptions of regard from others. Unlike previous
theorizing, this view is based on empirical knowledge of
the origins of narcissism and self-esteem. Some theorists
have proposed that “self-esteem rests on qualities which
a person actually possesses, while [narcissism] implies
presenting to the self and to others qualities or achieve-
ments for which there is no adequate foundation”
(Horney, 1939, p. 99). We argue that individuals largely
derive narcissism and self-esteem not from their qualities,
but rather from their perceptions of others’ regard for
them. Other theorists have proposed that high self-esteem
means thinking well of oneself, whereas narcissism
means passionately wanting to think well of oneself
(Bushman & Baumeister, 1998). We propose, instead, that
narcissists and high self-esteemers both think well of
themselves. But they do so in drastically different ways:
Narcissists think of themselves as superior to others
(reflecting a vertical, hierarchical view of themselves in
relation to others), whereas high self-esteemers think of
themselves as worthy (reflecting a horizontal, nonhierar-
chical view of themselves in relation to others).
Questions arise. Narcissists crave respect and admira-
tion. If narcissists truly feel superior, why would they so
desperately want others to validate their superiority? One
popular view is that narcissists crave such validation
because, deep down inside, they dislike themselves. How-
ever, there is no consistent evidence that narcissists harbor
such implicit self-loathing (Bosson et al., 2008; Gregg &
Sedikides, 2010). We suggest, instead, that narcissists crave
validation because their sense of superiority is precari-
ous—much more precarious than high self-esteemers’
sense of worth. Although everyone can be worthy, not
everyone can be superior. Indeed, the quest for superiority
is a zero-sum game: For every winner there is a loser, and
for every loser there is a winner (Back et al., 2013; Crocker
& Canevello, 2008). Thus, narcissists may need continuous
validation from others to believe that they are still the win-
ner and not yet the loser.
Do narcissists succeed in attaining external validation?
Because they are charming at first sight, they receive vali-
dation at the early stages of acquaintance. Yet unlike high
self-esteemers, narcissists have an antagonistic orienta-
tion toward others: They are disagreeable, arrogant, and
manipulative, and they also look down on others (Miller,
Price, Gentile, Lynam, & Campbell, 2012; O’Boyle,
Forsyth, Banks, Story, & White, 2014). As relationships
grow closer, these traits come to the surface, and narcis-
sists gradually lose the very validation they crave (Leck-
elt, Küfner, Nestler, & Back, 2015). This loss, in turn, may
fuel narcissists’ initial craving for external validation, thus
creating a self-sustaining spiral of validation seeking.
Over the past few decades, several scholarly debates
have focused on the promises and perils of self-love, with
narcissism and self-esteem often being conflated (Swann,
Chang-Schneider, & McClarty, 2007). Thus, from a basic-
research standpoint, we encourage researchers to demar-
cate clearly narcissism from self-esteem and to investigate
their shared and unique phenotypes, consequences,
development, and origins. We specifically encourage
researchers to deepen their involvement in the origins of
narcissism and self-esteem, as this topic can further clar-
ify the fundamental differences between the two con-
structs. From an applied-research standpoint, we
encourage psychologists to rethink their intervention
efforts. Psychologists have feared that widespread efforts
intended to raise self-esteem might inadvertently create a
generation of narcissists (Baumeister, Campbell, Krueger,
& Vohs, 2003; Twenge & Campbell, 2009). However, a
precise understanding of the distinct roots of narcissism
and self-esteem might enable interventions to raise self-
esteem while simultaneously curtailing narcissism.
Implications for Intervention
Since the early ’70s, Western society has become increas-
ingly concerned about children’s self-esteem. In their
well-intended efforts to boost self-esteem, parents, educa-
tors, and interventionists have heavily relied on praising
children for being special and extraordinary. Rather than
raising self-esteem, such “overvaluing” practices may
breed narcissism (Brummelman, Thomaes, Nelemans,
Orobio de Castro, Overbeek, & Bushman, 2015a). Thus,
what seems like common sense may have led people
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Narcissism and Self-Esteem 11
astray. Over the past few years, several proof-effective
self-esteem interventions have been initiated (O’Mara,
Marsh, Craven, & Debus, 2006), but their impact on nar-
cissism remains unknown.
A priority for research is to develop interventions that
concurrently raise self-esteem and curb narcissism by
precisely targeting their roots. One promising approach
is to address the socialization practices that give rise to
narcissism and self-esteem (Brummelman, Thomaes,
Nelemans, Orobio de Castro, Overbeek, & Bushman,
2015b). Interventions can teach parents and educators to
express affection and appreciation to children without
proclaiming them to be superior to others. By doing so,
parents and educators may help children feel happy with
themselves without seeing themselves as better than oth-
ers. Such an approach would require existing parent-
training and educational interventions to be refined,
because many of them focus on providing children with
regard (e.g., praise, encouragement) without carefully
distinguishing between different types of regard.
Another promising approach is to address directly the
core beliefs underlying narcissism and self-esteem: the
belief that one is superior to others versus the belief that
one is worthy. Psychologically precise interventions can
effectively change individuals’ core beliefs, which may
feed into changes in more stable traits (Dweck, 2008).
Experimental work has begun to explore this approach.
For example, nudging individuals away from their supe-
riority beliefs (e.g., by having them think about what
makes them similar to others) reduces narcissism levels
(Giacomin & Jordan, 2014). Helping people internalize
others’ appreciation (e.g., by having them describe the
meaning and significance of others’ kind words) raises
self-esteem levels, especially among those who need it
the most: low self-esteemers (Marigold, Holmes, & Ross,
2007).
These approaches may be most effective when timed
in late childhood. At that age, children readily evalu-
ate themselves from others’ perspective (Harter, 2012),
thus creating leverage for intervention. Also, their self-
views are relatively unstable (Trzesniewski, Donnellan, &
Robins, 2003), rendering them more susceptible to
change. Indeed, from adolescence onward, children’s
self-views may be more resistant to socialization influ-
ences (Harris et al., 2015).
Conclusion
Ever since Narcissus wandered into the psychological lit-
erature, scholars have attempted to uncover his true per-
sonality. One of the most common beliefs—that narcissism
is an extreme manifestation of high self-esteem—is as
intuitive as it is incorrect. By demarcating narcissism from
self-esteem, and by identifying their distinct roots, we
hope to provide researchers and practitioners with a
framework to guide their further inquiries into the mys-
teries of self-love.
Recommended Reading
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Campbell, W. K., & Miller, J. D. (Eds.). (2011). The handbook of
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Morf, C. C., & Rhodewalt, F. (2001). Unraveling the paradoxes
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Orth, U., & Robins, R. W. (2014). The development of self-esteem.
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An accessible overview of research on the development and
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Thomaes, S., & Brummelman, E. (2016). (See References). A
comprehensive review of theory and research on youth
narcissism, including early research on the link between
socialization experiences and narcissism.
Declaration of Conflicting Interests
The authors declared that they had no conflicts of interest with
respect to their authorship or the publication of this article.
Note
1. Some scholars have argued that high self-esteemers can be
non-narcissistic but that narcissists rarely have low self-esteem
(Baumeister et al., 2003). However, recent person-centered
analyses (which identify meaningful subgroups of individu-
als) have indicated that narcissists can have low self-esteem
(Nelemans et al., 2015).
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