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DEVELOPING A SOCIOLOGICAL MODEL FOR RESEARCHING
WOMEN'S SELF AND SOCIAL IDENTITIES.
Anne Byrne
Department of Political Science and Sociology
National University of Ireland Galway
Ireland
Telephone: (+353)-91-524411-Ext 3035
Facsimile: (+353)-91-525700
Electronic Mail: AnneByrne@NUIGALWAY.IE and/or ceibh@eircom.net
http://www.nuigalway.ie/soc
Paper Submitted to European Journal of Women's Studies,
Special Issue 'Identities: women and the construction of a social self'
Date Submitted: 24-6-03
Published in 2003. 'Developing a Sociological Model for
Researching Women's Self and Social Identities' in the
European Journal of Women's Studies (Special Issue on
Identities), Vol.10 (4): 443-464
Word Count 9256
Final version sent to EJWS
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Developing a sociological model for researching women's self and social
identities.
Abstract
For those interested in researching the consequences of strong ideologies on
women's identities, an empirical model that focuses our research attention on the
self-identity and social identity of individual women may be helpful. Such a
model was devised to assist the author in recognising elements of self-identity
and social identity in single women's narratives of their lives. Supported by
examples from women's narratives and focusing on the constituent elements of
self-identity in particular, the investigative model is presented in this paper. It is
argued that self-identity can be a locus of change with the potential for effecting
transformation in women's social identities.
Key words
Self, self-identity, social identity, single women, conceptions of womanhood
Introduction
In Ireland, the story of the family is one of the 'great stories' inextricably bound
up with the construction of national identity.
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Familism is an ideology in which
the marital family is treated as a social, cultural, political, economic and affective
unit.
2
In familist societies, such as Ireland, womanhood has been historically
attained and recognised through heterosexual attachment, marriage and
reproduction.
3
This 'approved' concept of womanhood is based on sexual
difference and being in a dependent relationship to others. Given the dominance
of marital and reproductive status in the construction of Irish national and
cultural identity, it is remarkable that this ideology of heterosexual familism and
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its consequences for individual identity has received little critical, empirical
attention from social scientists.
4
Individual agency, resistance and the potential
for effecting change is thus rarely observed or analysed.
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Despite the fact that heterosexuality, marriage and parenthood were and are
prime practices through which approved gender identities are constructed for
women and men, the connections between ideologies legitimated by the State and
our concepts of personhood remain under-investigated. How do these practices
contribute to processes of identity composition? What are the consequences for
those 'who choose to do otherwise'? How do individual women respond to or
resist the patriarchal ideologies that have shaped Irish identity at a collective
level?
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A narrow definition of woman as heterosexual, married and mother excludes
many other categories of women, such as lesbian women, nuns and single
women. But ideologies of familism, historically at least, have also located single
women as marginal but valued through their work as kin-keepers, family
labourers and waged workers. In this context, examining single women's self and
social identities reveals much about the relationship between ideologies,
conceptions of womanhood and the capacity for individual accommodation or
resistance to strong social identities. A common question asked by feminist
scholars is why some women resist and others do not. The question should be:
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how can we recognise innovatory action or resistance, how can it be made
known?
Without empirical investigation and effective conceptual tools, it is hard to detect
the effect of ideological formations on individual identities. The effects of public
ideologies on private lives, or social identities on self-identity, are notoriously
hard to detail precisely. Responding to this theoretical and empirical challenge,
an investigative, empirical model of self-identity and social identity is presented
in this paper, as part of a project to examine how single women compose own
self-identity, in the context of strong ideologies such as familism. The paper is
based on research that examined the consequences of familist ideologies for
single women's self-identity and social identity in contemporary Irish society.
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My starting point is identity as composed in social, communicative interaction
with others. Identity can be considered to have two aspects: self-identity and
social identity, linked by the elusive concept of self.
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While self-identity is
composed in complex interaction with others and closely joined with social
identity, it is a reference to the self, that sense of ourselves as unique and
individual persons. The self is also implicated in social identity. ‘Social identity’
refers to our recognition of and response to others’ categorisations of us in terms
of personhood, gender, 'race', ethnicity, sexual orientation, class and marital
status, for example. While self-identity expresses individual values and
preferences, specifying the uniqueness of the person, social identity captures
what we hold in common, what we share in terms of experiences with other
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people of the same sex, 'race', ethnic group, class or marital status.
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Social
identities can also refer to roles, occupations, social positions or even stereotypes
emphasising real or imagined shared personal attributes, moral orientation or
abilities which are believed to signify enduring features of a person's life (Fulcher
and Scott, 2003).
While I wish to make the case for loosening self-identity from social identity for
the purposes of empirical investigation, I recognise that it is difficult to extricate
one from the other in lived life. Some aspects of social identity can be understood
as flexible, ever changing, while others are considered less subject to alteration.
Hypothetically, in a plural, post-modern world, people can choose from a range of
identities, recomposing biographical narratives of self and re-presenting
themselves anew. In naming and claiming identities outside the traditional range,
the possibility for new forms of social identities is created. The challenge is to
understand the possibility for such transformation at the level of the individual. A
focus on self-identity goes some way in responding to this challenge.
Empirically, gender is regarded as involved in the primary ordering of social
identities: it is a collective categorisation, marking boundaries of difference
between female and male, stressing similarity within these social categories, but
also emphasising difference within hierarchies of males and females. Gender also
refers to the individual's private sense of herself as a female person. Gender, like
identity, is simultaneously internal and external to the person. It is deeply
implicated in the composition of self-identity, affecting personal conceptions of
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social identities of womanhood or manhood.
My initial interest in women's identities highlighted the narrow social repertoire
of permissible identities. I then searched for women whose social identities were
not of the mainstream. If one's social identity is outside the approved hierarchy of
demonstrable heterosexuality, marriage and motherhood, what are the
consequences for women's self-identity? I discussed identity issues, over a period
of three years (1995-1998), with three groups of single women over the age of
thirty: carers, career women and partner-seekers.
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Most of the women were born
in the 1950s and 1960s (the period in which I too 'grew up'). I invited them into
the study precisely because they were not married, were not living with a sexual
partner of the opposite sex and did not have children: they do not conform to
dominant social identities for women in Ireland.
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I chose these three groupings
for the possibilities that mediating identities might offer single women in the
context of a familistic society. Performing-much needed caring work, pursuing a
career or demonstrating interest in becoming coupled could arguably offset any
stigma accruing from the social identity of 'single woman'.
Many studies of single women present singleness as a deviant identity to
marriage while demonstrating that women can be satisfied with the single life-
style (Hartz-Karp 1981, Blanchard 1985, Bonds-White 1987, Duggan 1993).
Gordon (1994) noted that most single women reflect on their status and that
'marriage continues to cast a long shadow' (p195). In the absence of role models,
age thirty seems a turning point as women are reminded of their failure to meet
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conventional expectations of marriage and motherhood (Adams 1976, Burnley
1979, Peterson 1981, Stein 1981). In exploratory talks with women I learned that
singleness may be, but is not necessarily, problematic for single women.
Conceptualising it as such masked women's own interpretations of singleness as a
valued personal identity (self-identity). I learned that singleness was implicated
in how women viewed themselves and how others perceived and treated them.
I sought to know how single women experience, feel about and speak of
singleness. I wanted to understand how single women represent themselves to
themselves and others, how they construct a sense of self, and manage their
single identity in daily interaction and in relationship with others. Other research
suggests that single women not involved in intimate relationships develop a
strong sense of self and pay considerable attention to self-development and self-
identity (Bonds-White 1987, Enoch 1987). Knowledge of how women situate
themselves as single women in the context of modern Irish society would reveal
much about contemporary conceptions of womanhood.
In the interviews I began with the questions ‘Who are you? How would you
describe yourself?’ Women spoke about single identity in becoming/being single,
in others' and own attitudes to singleness, in thoughts on marriage, children,
home, work, religion, holidays, relationships with family and friends, in sexuality,
intimacy, leisure, and in voluntary and political activities. But gradually a
problem emerged. Was there any merit in distinguishing self-identity from social
identity and how could it be done? At the narrative level, how would I recognise
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women's variable, varying self-identities and social identities in the stories of
their lives? At the theoretical level, how could I move from abstract, theoretical
selves and identities to empirical, tangible self-identity and social identity which
could be observed and interpreted? In response to these difficulties, I choose to
devise an investigative model to guide my research on self-identity and social
identity.
Observing self-identity and social identity: presenting the model
In devising the model, I was drawn to theorists who grounded the self, identity
and conceptions of personhood in the realm of the social, and who saw
individuals as neither 'wholly autonomous nor wholly enslaved' (Sawicki 1991:
104). Seeking a middle ground between unstable and stable conceptions of
identity offered by postmodernism and modernism (cf. Foucault 1988a, 1998b,
Giddens 1991, Mead 1934), I was interested in the human capacity for choice and
agency, and the role of self-identity in facilitating this capacity. I also sought
theorisations of self, personhood and identity that included or could be reworked
though the prism of gender. Finally I sought those who were interested in
pursuing the question 'Who am I and where do I fit?' Thus the theoretical work of
Mead (1934), Giddens (1992), Taylor (1985) and Foucault (1988a, 1988b) in
particular informed the constituent elements of the model of identity presented
here.
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My intention in this paper is to focus on the self-identity of single women,
'loosening' it from social identity to reveal self-identity as a possible locus of
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change. Reflecting the internal-external dynamic of identity and gender, my
research focuses on the consequences of dominant social identities for the
composition of self-identities and argues that self-identity is consequential for
effecting transformation in social identities.
While controversial, artificially loosening self-identity from social identity
enables the researcher to focus on the self-identity of single women and to realise
that, while influenced by social identities, self-identity is conceptually different.
Composed of elements serving to produce a personal, coherent narrative of self,
self-identity is the arena in which the capacity for agency and innovatory action
can develop. Self-identity is less influenced by roles, occupations and stereotypes
than is social identity. Rather, values, choices, prioritising, planning and devising
life plans contribute to the composition of self-identity. In observing the elements
of self-identity in women's narratives, the researcher can also discern resistance
to dominant conceptions and attempts to articulate new conceptions of
womanhood.
But neither does the model ignore social identity, including consequences of
ideologies, group identifications, valued and stigmatised identities for
conceptions of what it means to be a woman in contemporary Irish society. These
consequences are apparent in women's perceptions of heterosexuality, marriage
and motherhood as a culturally dominant stereotypical conception of
womanhood. For example, for Mel, womanhood is based on a 'natural' imperative
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to reproduce. Because she is not married and does not have children she feels
personally deficient and that others 'look down on her'. Being single means
'...that I am different. What is wrong with me that I cannot get married?
Looked down on. Women should get married. Women should have children.
It is so natural to do so' (Mel, Partner-Seeker, 44 years).
Similarly, Fiona, a 34-year-old career woman, regards singleness as somewhat
'selfish', particularly for women. She finds it difficult to reconcile her single
identity with her woman identity. To be a woman means 'giving' and 'sharing'
with family and children. For her being single and '...being a woman, it was nearly
selfish. That I should maybe think of sharing something with somebody else and
maybe should be giving time to family and children'.
Women engaging with this stereotypical conception of womanhood are deeply
aware that the everyday, continual interrogation of their 'marital status' is due to
the unacceptable social identity of singleness that marks their lives. Commenting
on the constant questioning of her singleness by family, friends and strangers,
Siobhan observes
'...the unspoken expectation in society is that you will marry unless you have
stated that you are a homosexual, which I am not....you are seen as
something of an aberration the older you get...they would say 'she is a
spinster'. They would note that. Whereas the norm is that you would be a
married woman. So somewhere along the line you have failed to meet
society's expectations of you and there might be 'why is this the case?' That
is meant by asking me questions, I would be aware of that...' (Siobhan,
Partner-Seeker, 37 years).
On being asked was she married, Kitty reflects
'Immediately, I felt kind of condemned. 'Oh you should be married. You
look like you should be married'. Neighbours ask 'Any sign of you getting
married', friends inquire 'Are you doing any line?' It seems to be the in
question. And I know I do it myself to single girls that I would know...You
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would be wondering are they single or did they get married. Or it seems the
natural thing to assume that everybody grows up and then gets married. It
saddens me to have to answer no to it. No I am not married. No I haven't got
anybody. That saddens and annoys me...' (Kitty, Partner-Seeker, 31 years).
The model used to explore the intrusion of stereotypical conceptions of
womanhood into women’s lives emphasises self-identity with four constitutive
elements: experiencing the self in interaction with others, developing the capacity
for self-knowledge, devising care and practices of the self, and being self-
reflexive. These elements can be apprehended in women's narrative accounts of
their lives. The remainder of the paper demonstrates how these elements can be
used to sensitise researchers in observing women's self-identities.
(FIGURE 1 HERE)
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Figure 1: An Investigative Model of Identity Composition and Change
IDENTITY
SELF-IDENTITY SOCIAL-IDENTITY
Evident in- Evident in-
Experience of Interaction |Dominant Ideologies
|Social structures, narratives..
Self-Knowledge |Primary Identifications
Values and Concept of Personhood Personhood, gender, ethnicity,
sexual orientation, class...
|Secondary Identifications
Kin, nationality, occupation...
Care and Practices of the Self |Socially Valued Identities
Making Choices, Prioritising, |Socially Stigmatised
Devising, Enacting Life Plans |-Identities
Capacity to Narrate the Self |
Routine Reflexive Activities |
Context of Relation
----->Interaction with Others<-----
Consequences of Interaction
|
|
Context of Agency
<-----(Experiences, Self-Awareness, Reflexivity)----->
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Experiencing the self in interaction with others
The first element of self-identity is based on the experience of interaction with
others, invoking the idea of constant awareness of the consequences of
interaction, which in turn effects the sense of self. The individual is conscious of
how others perceive and experience her in day-to-day communication. This
consciousness (evident in the ability to make inner representations of self and in
the consideration of personal significances that are meaningful to the individual)
can provoke contemplation and reflection about the self as subject.
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Feelings of
shame and of diminished personhood can ensue but the possibility for
transforming self-identity can also emerge from consciousness provoked by the
experience of self in interaction with others. This element also connects to the
concept of social identity: how others interact with an individual can be overlaid
by their perceptions of what they consider her social identity to be. Though she is
a particular, unique individual, others first perceive a person as a woman, then as
belonging to a particular ethnic group or social class. In this instance her
gendered, raced, classed, social identities structure others’ interactions with her
and consequently are significant for the composition of self-identity.
For example, Margaret, a 56-year-old single woman, is acutely aware that others
perceive her as not as having completed the rites of passage which would enable
her to claim adult identity.
'...They feel that because you have not married you never seem to have left
your childhood, when you have grown up...they are laughing at you and will
really laugh at you...it can be hurtful...people still think you are a child. That
you will not have advanced in mind at all, just because you didn't marry.
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Your body developed but your mind never grew up and you are still that
little baby there' (Margaret, Partner-Seeker, 56 years).
Similarly, Bridget recounts that she is still perceived as a 'girl' by her mother.
Diminishing the claim to adult womanhood is a perceived feature of others'
interactions with single women.
' In the eyes of my mother...I am still a girl and that comes across very
strongly and I vehemently hate that. And also that it is not enough to be in a
relationship, that until you have the baby, you are still a girl, no matter what
age you are...' (Bridget, Partner-Seeker, 32 years).
Similarly women talked about their invisibility in their families, and parents’
preferences for married daughters and sons. Katie, aged 45, living with and
caring for her elderly mother, talks of her mother’s affection for Katie's sister who
is married to a successful businessman and has a large family. 'She is the
daughter that is doted on and I am the maid...my mother has more respect for the
one that is married.' Likewise, in her work life, Emer, 33 years, felt that 'If you
were married, people would take you more seriously. As an unaccompanied
female she was uncomfortable socialising with male colleagues and rarely
attended business lunches; she felt that her singleness negatively influenced how
business colleagues perceived her.
Women were also acutely aware of others' perceptions of single women as either
asexual, sexually available to men or identifying them as lesbians. Kitty describes
an interaction with a man who in a public setting asked her about her sexual life.
'...a stranger asked me when I last had sex and why it had been so long since
I had sex and I like a fool answered him. You know I was so pissed with
myself that I did answer him. I should have told him to mind his own
fucking business. But it was like I had to prove myself in some way, that I
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wasn't a frigid little virgin that never had a man in my bed and I was so mad
at myself for answering him' (Kitty, Partner-Seeker, 31 years).
Social identities for single women revolved around stereotypes of fussy, selfish,
choosy, particular, spinsters, women who were dried up, 'staid, old, not living',
single women who hated men, old maids, wallflowers, women who were left on
the shelf and who had 'something wrong with them'. The experience of the self in
interactions with others was influenced by the fact that a gendered, stigmatised
social identity of singleness continued to intrude, underpinning a more valued
conception of womanhood tied to heterosexuality, marriage and motherhood.
Thus not only one's social identity, but also single women's self-identity is subject
to constant scrutiny, surveillance and sanction. For example, each woman I
interviewed had a repertoire of stories for different social situations, explaining
why they were single. Stories ranged from preferring the independent life, not
having found Mr Right, memories of broken romances in the past, claiming the
priority of caring for others, career or education in their lives, being incapable of
long-term relationships or representing singleness as 'something that just
happens' (see Byrne 2000c). These stories, combined with other strategies,
reduced stigma and helped manage face-to-face interactions but self-identity was
undermined. Women were aware that working to increase the acceptability of
singleness as a social identity would require change at the level of the self. Cara
signalled that she herself must accept her singleness prior to societal recognition
of singleness as an acceptable social identity for women.
'...what I would love would be if being single was OK. If society would allow
people to be single...I could argue that must come from in here first and I
probably have a conditioning that makes it difficult even for me to allow
single to be OK' (Cara, Career Woman, 39 years).
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Developing the capacity for self-knowledge
The second element of self-identity concerns knowledge of self, knowledge of own
values. Self-knowledge involves being conscious of the self, being aware of own
limits and potentialities and in having a concept of personhood. Self-knowledge is
knowing who one is, having the ability to describe oneself to others, being able to
talk about one's self to oneself. For example, this element alerted me to the
'significances' of what is valued, cared about and held dear in women's accounts
of themselves.
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What emerges is that self-identity as a single woman is based on
distinct values that laud independence and an autonomous orientation.
Independence, being 'strong', valuing self-reliance and the desire for autonomy
are intertwined in women's views of themselves.
'I don't have a problem with being single. I think I have an awful lot of
advantages with being single. It supports my want for independence...I
think you would need to be strong because I mean that in lots of women
there is a huge sense of dependency on a man, on a partner...You know I
think oftentimes it is a sense of vulnerability in women that they just need to
latch onto somebody' (Colette, Partner-Seeker, 37 years).
'I suppose I am a strong person...I only rely on myself. I am very
independent and I don't make a decision based on what some one else may
do for me...I do it myself' (Eleanor, Career Women, 32 years)
In her desire for autonomy in her life, Siobhan ended an intimate relationship
because she felt that her sense of independence was compromised.
'To be independent...it means being able to stand on your own, not feeling
that you are lacking in anything. That you are complete and able to stand on
your own, even through strengths and weaknesses and ups and downs...I
attach some kind of ...importance to being on my own and able to stand up
and able to manage and get things done, on my own'. (Siobhan, Partner-
Seeker, 37 years)
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Among the three groups of women in the study, though all valued independence,
there were differences in their orientation to autonomy. Carers, by virtue of their
older age-profile and long number of years spent caring, were more used to being
single, more comfortable in provisioning and planning for self-sufficiency. While
some felt lonely, isolated from other people, they more commonly continued to
live alone when the person for whom they provided care died or entered a nursing
home. If single independence is measured in terms of duration, being alone and
presentation of self as single, then Carers collectively show a strong orientation
towards autonomy. Career women had experienced achievements in their
careers, successfully running businesses and gaining professional recognition in
their field, achievements that they said would have been incompatible with the
demands of marriage and motherhood. Career women, though they liked to share
their domestic space with others, are attached to the single way of life and aware
of the material and emotional benefits of being unattached. This category
positively identified themselves as single, regarding singleness as a viable
alternative identity for contemporary Irish women. In contrast, those women
seeking an intimate partner, though attached to independent values and
describing themselves as self-reliant, self-governing and self-directed, did not
wish to spend their lives alone. Their orientation to autonomy is altered by their
desire for an intimate relationship with another. In focussing on the capacity for
self-knowledge as a constituent element of self-identity, I learned the importance
of independence as a value and autonomy as an orientation shaping single
women's lives.
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In care and practices of the self
The third element, care of the self, has a different emphasis to self-knowledge; it
is focused on caring about the self and the activity of caring for the self: practices
of the self, with their material and non-material dimensions. They involve caring
for the self, looking after the body and its needs, attending to emotions, feelings
and affections, thinking about one's psychic and spiritual life.
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In the interviews
women talked about their sole responsibility for routine domestic maintenance,
often physically challenging, or their concern about emergency situations, or
plans for who would care for them should they become ill. Women also talked
about measures to ensure personal safety, and security issues when socialising
and returning home or holidaying alone. Some women who had previously lived
alone consciously decided to share domestic space with others; partly to alleviate
the sole burden of shopping, cooking, cleaning, and repair work but also to
provide companionship and communication with others. For Eleanor, age 32,
living with others was 'healthier': she felt she was becoming 'neurotic' about her
living space. Kelly too noticed that when she was living alone
'..I was very strange. People would come into visit, put the cutlery back in
the wrong place, put the cup down without the mat - but you do, you do get
strange. I noticed that. It was a conscious decision that I was going to get
somebody in..' (Kelly, Career Woman, 36 years)
Care and practices of the self are also evident in the capacity to make choices, to
take responsibility for and exert control over one's life, to prioritise and devise life
plans. They are intimately involved in composing, sustaining and changing self-
identity and social identity. Focusing on them not only alerted me to the
extensive daily work involved in provisioning for the self, economically,
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domestically and emotionally, but also to single women's conceptions of
themselves as independent individuals seeking meaningful relationships with
others. Those single women who are content with their singleness nurture the
relationships of choice that sustain single self-identity and avoid relationships
which undermine single self-identity (see Byrne 1999). For example, the strength
of women's attachment to their families of origin depended on whether or
parents and siblings supported or undermined their singleness. Celie speaks
about the good relationship she has with her parents and sister, receiving
comfort, support, attention, security, protection; she in turn looks after and cares
for her parents.
'I have lovely parents. It is a home not a house. They are very supportive in
whatever I do...I have a sister...without her I would not survive. They are
very important to me...Mine is a very loving environment, definitely. It is
very easygoing, you can relax and you can still go out and enjoy yourself and
come home anytime you like...They would never interfere but at the same
time I know they are concerned...When I come home every evening my
dinner is ready for me. I am spoilt. In return I am very good to them' (Celie,
Career Women, 36 years).
While some studies have identified leaving the parental home as a key
developmental task necessary for single women to symbolise to others that they
are mature adults (Haravan 1982, Blanchard 1985), devising and choosing
familial relationships may also indicate maturity. Some women's mutual
attachment to parents and siblings could be interpreted as a sophisticated wish
for relationships that do not compromise but rather affirm single self-identity.
This form of 'kin-keeping' familism, emphasising attachment to family of origin,
arguably supports single self-identity. This contrasts with heterosexual familism
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that emphasises separation from family of origin and is demonstrably hostile to
single identity.
As indicated above, other single women perceived that they were treated as
'second-class', 'invisible', less important than married sisters and brothers. Their
accounts of family life stressed acrimony between siblings, hurtful or demeaning
remarks about their singleness or childlessness and important events in the
woman's own life not celebrated by her family. In response, these single women
retained only ritual contact with parents and siblings, revealing little about their
lives.
‘Care and practices of the self’ also emphasised choices women made – for
example in their work careers.
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They either prioritised commitment to careers
over intimate relationships or admitted that work practices did not allow
personal time to establish and maintain intimate relationships with others (cf.
Gordon 1994). Commitment to developing and succeeding in a career was
perceived as involving long-term dedication to work, demanding time, energy
and money. The women in this study perceived career and marriage/motherhood
as either/or options. Accounts of their educational and career development reveal
prioritisation of nurturing independence and self-development. Concern with
personal growth, challenging oneself and confidence in one's own judgements
permeates these women's accounts of their working lives. Brenda, age 31,
described how she 'discovered herself' through her ambition and testing herself in
her career. She felt that she was no longer 'shy and reserved' but 'confident and
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ambitious'. Similarly, Fiona, age 34, said 'I always have to have a goal and stretch
myself...I am happy being active or moving on'. Eleanor, age 32, described herself
as a 'calculated risk-taker' who is 'not afraid to make choices or change'; she
makes business decisions herself by 'thinking things through all the way'.
Achieving ambition, financial independence and gaining control over one's life
were key to women's sense of personal and professional success. Fiona had
realised that she felt constrained by social expectations that womanhood was
achieved through marriage and motherhood and not via a career.
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She had to
reflect on herself as a person, on what kind of person she thought herself to be, so
that she could set aside conventional expectations and fulfil her career ambition.
She severed all possibility of intimate, sexual relationships when deciding to
commit herself to establishing her own business.
'...I did not want that distraction...I decided that I have to prove something
here...I am just going to get stuck into this, I don't need any distractions...'
(Fiona, Career Women, 34 years).
Emer, age 33, like the other career women, stresses ambition and hard work.
'I am ambitious, yes. I have worked hard for it and I think it is something I
have always wanted and I have put an awful lot of work into it, so I am
ambitious..' (Emer, Career Woman, age 33).
I suggest that in viewing themselves as ambitious, willing to invest time, energy
and resources in personal careers, valuing independence and making non-
traditional gender choices, single women present themselves as self determining
agents. Their choices and practices in career are oriented towards autonomy. The
career women articulated a representation of themselves as successful, competent
and dedicated to their careers. They affirmed themselves in their work, speaking
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about skill and proficiency, capacities for hard work and professional attitudes to
work. For many, commitment to and satisfaction with working life was integral to
self-identity and personhood. Kelly, age 36, remarked, ' Well I suppose my work
is my identity...It is like what makes me, me...' Cara, age 39, said '...and I am
lucky that in my job I can get highs that I used to get in relationships...the job
gives me such satisfaction.'
Women consistently differentiated between commitment to career and
commitment to marriage/partnership and children. These women did not
perceive themselves as able to satisfy the obligations and responsibilities of both.
For them, being single is axiomatic to being a successful career woman. Also,
having a self-identity that is defined by orientation to a career implies a
conception of self as a woman that is arguably a form of resistance to the highly
gendered conception of womanhood with which they grew up.
Being self-reflexive
Selfhood can only be experienced and felt by the individual subject. This subject
can narrate that experience, thus expressing own self-identity. Through the
medium of self-identity, the self becomes tangible to self and others. In turn, the
tangible, observable self offers a basis from which interpretations about identity
can be made by external observers (such as social researchers). In reflexively
speaking about their singleness, that which marks women off as different from
others, the extent of women's identity-work emerges.
23
The fourth element I wish to emphasise is the concept of reflexivity. For the
individual woman this involves considering the first three elements and attending
to the information about the self as subject that they generate. This information
provokes contemplation and consideration of the self, which can be a potent
source of change, but can also be used to justify and maintain stasis in self-
identity.
Of the thirty women interviewed, five women did not want to accept their
singleness as a basis for either their own self-identity or social identity. While
recognising the benefits of independence, all five were anxious to be
married/partnered, seeing this as a route to validating their womanhood and
adulthood to themselves and others. In contrast, twenty-five women referred
positively to being single, as they spoke about the losses, gains and competencies
that accrue from 'going it alone'. Of these, ten women thought that singleness was
an oppositional identity to marriage; though keenly aware of single stigma, they
were prepared to consider singleness as an alternative social identity for women.
Being at variance with others, feeling like outsiders, feeling less valued, excluded,
with a perception of self as 'different', is most salient in these women's views of
themselves. While acutely aware that in others’ eyes they may have failed to meet
the standards of womanhood, this is a standard they reject for themselves. These
women said that 'they choose to be single now' and were willing to try and accept
their singleness to a greater extent than heretofore. In reflecting whether or not
she accepts her singleness, Emer muses
24
'Do I accept it? I do. I want to accept it very much. I know that I am
certainly an awful lot happier now than in a lot of relationships that I have
been in. I love, I love the evenness of it. I'd be very slow to give that up'
(Emer, Career Woman, 33 years).
The remaining fifteen women believed that ideas about womanhood were
changing in Irish society, comparing their mothers’ limited options with the
range of possibilities for being a woman now. Aware of the existence of single
stigma, they confidently predicted that singleness would be an acceptable social
identity for women in future.
'It is easier to be single now and people can choose to be single...And I
would say that a lot of people would not like this view that women can
choose to get married or not. Women can choose to live with
somebody...Women can choose to have a family or not. They can make all
these decisions now and still keep going' (Katie, Carer, 45 years).
'I could list at least two or three dozen women who are not married between
the ages of thirty and fifty...I believe we were the kids of the sixties and we
found a certain independence, not totally reliant on having appendages of a
husband...there is a certain amount of independence among us...there is a
certain belief in independence...' (Lily, Partner-Seeker, 43 years).
Seven of these women were strongly committed to living as independent women,
to challenging oppression and inequality for themselves and other women.
Women identified the Women's Movement and feminism as critical in publicly
challenging dominant social identities for women and as legitimating alternative
values informing self-identity and social identity. Believing that they themselves
are responsible for who they are, for the direction of their lives, for values and
relationship choices, they refuse to accept external criteria such as marital status
as bases for identity. For example, Siobhan believes that she alone is responsible
for her self-development, happiness and security. Her valuing of equality and
diversity for self and others is reflected in her preparedness to actively work for
25
political change. She is involved in the women's movement, trade union
movement and extensive community work. Refusing to be excluded, aware of her
own needs and interests, she notes
' ...I think it is something of taking on responsibility for furthering the
things in your life or your environment that you think are
important...something you should do and is worthwhile doing...I mean I am
a woman, so that is why women's things are important to me. I am an
employee so that is why the trade union is important to me. All of those
things, they are generally to do with myself but they are an extension of my
own self, and I am willing to take on things which will not only benefit
myself but benefit other people' (Siobhan, Partner-Seeker, 37 years).
This group of women built lifestyles, made choices and fostered relationships that
enabled and nourished distinctive self-identities rooted in a positive conception
of self as single. For a number of these and other women in the study, this
involved struggle; for example, their singleness influenced a decision to enter
therapy. Bridget, for whom age thirty was a 'positive’ benchmark, said that
through therapy she wanted to 'own myself more' and 'be more supportive of
myself'.
' I am who I am and I don't want to change that...I find I am much less
critical and more explorative...I take life seriously, but not so seriously at all.
It just feels a bit easier. I don't have to give myself such a hard time around
it (singleness)' (Bridget, Partner-Seeker, 32 years).
Lily had been in therapy for more than ten years and described herself as having
a public and private identity, one 'strong' and 'arrogant', the other 'caring and
sensitive'.
'Since I started doing a lot of work on myself, that arrogance, that harsh
facade has begun to diminish, to more softness and I like myself. I like that
part of me (Lily, Partner-Seeker, 32 years).
Therapy, women said, helped to recognise patterns in their lives of which they
26
were previously unaware. It also helped to relieve the pain of periods of 'divine
discontentment'. Psychotherapeutic reflection was used to engage with the
question 'who am I and where do I fit'?
The investigative model allowed me to see that most of the single women in the
study were prepared to engage with the question of who they were. Though they
described themselves as 'outsiders looking in' or 'non-conformists', for some
these were preferred positions, from which the mainstream could be observed
and criticised. Refusing to be marginalised and excluded, combined with an
orientation to diversity and a willingness to name and claim themselves publicly
as single women, women sought to re-position single identity as one of a range of
possible social identities for women. Perceiving the self as different to others can
lead to isolation and stasis, limiting the capacity for innovatory action. Perceiving
possibilities for the self as choosing one of many diverse ways of being places the
responsibility for change on the capacity for being oneself.
18 19
Assessing the Model
The model is intended primarily as a guide for conducting investigative fieldwork
of self-identity and social identity. Disentangling self-identity from social identity
is conceptually difficult: thus, for the purposes of empirical work, self-identity
can be 'loosened' from social identity and the self-identity of others can be made
known to the researcher. I have concentrated first on elements implicated in the
composition of self-identity and which can be observed in an individual's account
of her life. As an empirical guide, this was helpful. The elements in the model
27
reflect an interactionist/social constructivist conception of womanhood: crucially,
they bring single women's self-identity clearly into view. The model enabled me
to access evidence that single women are actively engaged in composing self-
identities that are not posited on heterosexual familism but based on their
experience of being single in contemporary Irish society. This is a significant
personal achievement for women but is also of ideological import in actively
challenging and transcending dominant social identities for women.
Analysing women's narratives showed that self-identity for single women is not a
matter of being defined in relationship to others (as wife, as mother, as daughter)
but rather is defined by oneself in chosen relationships with others. This is a
composition of self that represents a paradigmatic shift in conceptions of
womanhood. It is a movement from a passive, dependent, over-socialised, non-
individualised subject with little control over the direction and activity of her life
to womanhood as active agent, as autonomous but connected to others in
accordance with the woman’s own values.
The analysis also revealed that all the women interviewed consistently value their
independence, their single lifestyles; most are attached to their single self-
identity. In composing a coherent self-identity not based on marriage or
motherhood, the self is revealed as the locus of change as single women challenge
dominant social identities and heterosexual familist-only ideologies in their
everyday, extra-ordinary lives. Once singleness is used as a basis for self-
definition, the potential is created to transform women's social identity.
28
Transformative single self-identity is realised by the capacity for being one's self,
enabled by reference to own values which allows fundamental re-working of
others' familial, marital, sexual and economic stigmatising constructions of single
women. The centrality of wifehood and motherhood are challenged by naming
the single identity and working to move singleness from a marginal, outsider
position to a place where it becomes one of a number of diverse identity options
for women.
Making autonomous choices, living as a single woman, are acts of political and
ideological resistance. The evidence from this study underlines the importance of
achieving an autonomous self-identity in order to resist and challenge dominant
social identities. Being ‘an outsider looking in’ can be a powerful place from
which to initiate change at the level of self, with and for others, allowing
transformative woman identities to announce themselves. This has collective
consequences for the structure of gender relations and significant implications
for our understanding of womanhood and what it means to be a woman in
contemporary Irish society.
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Notes
Thank you to Ricca Edmondson for editorial assistance and to two anonymous referees for
responses to this paper.
1
The idea of the 'great story' comes from Geertz (1973) and Myerhoff (1974), the latter who
identified the 'great story' as a '...cultural macrocosm that provided a history, a personal story of
individual experience and an orderly interpretive framework for meaning' (Prell, p. 248).
Myherhoff interested in the fit between an individual's life story and the great story was
concerned with how those with no access to a great story become 'active constructors of their own
place in society' (Prell, p. 251) and the pivitol role of the self in constructing identity and meaning.
2
Barret and McIntosh (1982) regard familism as ‘the propagation of politically pro-family ideas’
(p.26) based on an ideology of biological essentialism which seeks to justify and legitimate social
and gender inequalities.
3
O'Connor (1998) identified caring, reproduction, familism, love, sexual attraction and 'women's
place' in paid employment as themes informing dominant concepts of womanhood in Irish
society.
4
Commenting on the lack of Irish research on sexuality, Inglis (1997) argues that the Catholic
Church's monopoly over sexual discourse has deterred social scientists from reflecting 'critically
on the creation of our personal and social being' (p7).
5
While there has been some work on the impact of ideologies of nationalism and concepts of
‘Irishness’ for feminism and womanhood (see Coulter 1993, Lentin 1998), there is no major
feminist, sociological analysis or study of the dominant identities for women (motherhood,
heterosexuality, on being a wife) in Ireland. Associated research work in which conceptions of
womanhood are deeply implicated, has been about those who are regarded as problematic (e.g.
women seeking abortions, single parenthood, women living in poverty), (see Conroy Jackson
1987, Hyde 1996, Mahon, Conlon and Dillon 1998, Daly and Leonard 2002).
6
For an analysis of patriarchy in Irish society see Mahon (1987, 1994, 1995).
7
The stigmatisation of singleness and single women's responses to stigma formed part of this
investigation as did the meaning of singleness to women and the significance of their
relationships with family, friends and lovers for self-identity. See Byrne (2000a).
8
For a contemporary sociological analysis of identity see Jenkins (1996).
9
Both difference and similarity need to be considered in the composition of self-identity and
social identity, as comparison with others invokes the process of social categorisation in the
conferring of identities.
10
The category 'single women' is often regarded as heterogeneous consisting of ever-married
(widows, divorced and separated women) and never-married women, older and younger, with
32
and without children, living with others or living alone. In initial conversations with women I was
guided by women's own understanding of 'true singleness' as 'not married' and 'absence of
intimate, sexual relationships'. Thus, in the context of a familistic cultural setting, I invited
women who were never-married, without children, who were not cohabiting nor members of
religious organisations and who had passed the local age of marriage to participate in the
research. For an overview of the participatory research methodology utilising a relational research
design and the Voice Centered Relational method for analysing women's narratives, see Byrne
(2000b).
11
Single women are the subjects of much public interest and sociological research. Classical
published accounts include Adams (1976), Stein (1976), Bernard (1972, 1981), Cargan and Melko
(1982), Chambers-Schillers (1984) and Allen (1989) among others. Recent studies of singleness
and the single life include Vicinus (1985) and Gordon (1994). For Irish sources, published and
unpublished, see Curtin and Varley (1987), Duggan (1993) and Byrne (1997, 2000c).
12
Given the present emphasis on introducing an empirical and analytical model to guide
investigative field work and to alert researchers to elements (the composition and production) of
self-identity in women's narratives, it is beyond the scope of this paper to demonstrate the explicit
influence of these theorists on the model or to dwell on the limitations of their conceptions of self
and identity (see for example Burkitt 1994, Joas 1998, Olivieri 2000). For a useful and critical
discussion of the 'slippery' conceptions of self, subject and self-identity in sociological and
philosophical writing see Olivieri (2000). She argues for the need to produce recognisable,
working concepts of self and agency from a post-modern perspective for use in sociological
research.
13
See Taylor's formulation of personhood, in which the idea of human significances is important.
Human significances '... are understood as valuations...Guided by these valuations we choose. And
so we have the capacities definitive of a person; self-awareness, values, choice; and from all these
the ability to make life plans' (1985: 276). Human significances also involves 'strong evaluation'
(p267): in not conforming to public evaluations of human significances and the relevant
standards, the individual is judged as wanting, subject to scrutiny and assessment, while the ends
(significances) remain intact. The self-aware person who chooses ‘wrongly’ is judged harshly; the
personhood of the individual who does not share others’ agreed standards of what it is to be a
person is itself questioned.
14
Taylor (1985) argues that an individual becomes conscious that an event, belief, interaction,
way of being, has particular meaning for her; in this awareness, her sensitivity to the 'significance'
is altered. Taylor's formulation offers a re-working of the concept of agency to include not only
self-awareness and choice, but also an insight into the connections between self-awareness,
significances (values), choice and personhood. He directs the gaze towards the inner life of the
individual motivated to reflect on her self, to re-consider the significances that are meaningful to
her.
15
Translating Foucault (1988a, 1988b) somewhat, his suggestion that we examine the practices
and techniques through which individuals actively fashion own identities is useful. Individuals
autonomously construct their day to day existences via 'technologies of self' which include
material practices in the 'art of living', as well as a 'spiritual' concern for oneself and concern with
self-knowledge (see also McNay 1992). In the pursuit of knowing 'who I am and where do I fit',
Foucault advocated the radical composition and re-composition of the individual by herself,
struggling against 'forms of subjection', against regulated identities.
16
The ten 'career women' who participated in the study, most of whom were under forty years old,
included entrepreneurs and retailers, managers of large business or financial organisations,
professionals offering legal, medical or public relations services. Seven of the ten were self-
employed. Compared to the other two groups interviewed, carers and partner-seekers, career
women were younger, higher earners and had higher educational, training or professional
qualifications.
17
O'Connor (1998) has identified the 'degendered worker' among new definitions of womanhood
emerging in Irish society to also include the family feminist and the acceptance of 'difference'.
33
18
For Mead (1934) the capacity for being oneself arises from 'individuation' as opposed to
'individualisation' which refers to the extent to which a person deviates from societal expectations
or determinants (see also Habermas 1992).
19
Two other aspects of the model need to be explained (see also diagram). The context of relation,
as I describe it, is the fluid boundary between self-identity and social identity composed by and
through interaction with others. Through individual agency, changes may be wrought in social
identities: hence the model attempts to account in some form for the potential impact of the
individual on the social. Secondly, the context of agency is a feature of experience; to realise it
and make its meaning clear to ourselves requires narration. The context of agency also
accommodates change in the composition of social identities, made possibly over a long period of
time, through the efforts of individuals.
